Essay

NY still bugs some people

By Benjamin Woodward

Earlier this year, I read an article in a newspaper, which said, considering the many creatures that had attacked New York over the years in movies, it was surprising that when a real creature should attack and terrorize the city, it should come in so tiny a form as the bedbug. Surely the residents of a city that has been mauled by King Kong and Godzilla and various forms of aliens, dinosaurs, mutants, and zombies could handle the bedbug. It turned out they couldn't.

I arrived in New York at the height of the bedbug reign of terror. The creatures had invaded upscale apartments, housing estates, hotels, and offices. Stores such as Nike, Abercrombie and Fitch, and Victoria's Secret were forced temporarily to close. One (one!) bedbug was found in the hallowed Bloomingdale's department store ("I can't believe they finally made it to Bloomingdale's," said a customer as though it were some inexcusable social transgression). Newspapers breathlessly reported bedbugs crawling into bags and clothes in a Times Square cinema. Even the Empire State Building was "attacked." I received "pro-active" emails about bedbug prevention, and warnings of random inspections with bedbug monitors, sniffer dogs, and CO2 machines to draw the bedbugs out. I was reassured that my mattress was bedbug resistant, which may explain why it feels like I'm sleeping on an oven rack. There are hot lines, web sites, and iPhone apps for up-to-date reports on bedbug outbreaks in your area. Under-employed actors are being employed as bedbug hunters, and someone is suing the Waldorf-Astoria for giving them bedbugs. It all seems absurd, but I guess it's a convenient excuse not to go to the gym.

I have to confess that when I arrived in New York I didn't know what bedbugs were. I had heard of them. I knew they caused a vicious itch and left ugly red welts on the skin, but even after almost one and a half years of backpacking through Asia and the Middle East, I had never encountered any. I still haven't, but, thanks to all the information, I now know more than I care to about the tiny critters. For those who were as ignorant as I was, they are rust-colored insects about the size of an apple-seed. They hide in folds and crevices, and come out at night to feed on your blood. Their numbers are on the rise apparently because of international travel and because of the decline in the use of DDT. And in this most neurotic of cities, the stigma of having bedbugs (the ultimate indignity of a cancelled dinner party invitation, etc.) and the expense of having them removed (at least a couple of thousands of dollars) have meant that people are less likely to report them.

Who knows whether it's over-exaggerated? Maybe it's not as serious as people make it out to be. Maybe it's like the other fads that rule this city, and by this time next year, New Yorkers will have something else to be concerned about. For the moment, though, as the saying goes, "Good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bedbugs bite."

Shukan ST: December 17, 2010

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