Opinion

Tips for Columnists

By DOUGLAS LUMMIS

Recently in the back shelves of a used bookstore in Kanda, I found a remarkable old pamphlet. Written in English, it is entitled, "You, too, Can Be a Foreign Columnist in Japan." It is written in the manner of a how-to booklet.

It begins by saying that to be a successful columnist in this country, you do not need either special writing ability or the news sense of a good reporter. It does not matter that you could never get your articles published back home. Here, all you have to do is follow a formula and you will do fine.

The essence of the formula is, "My country is right, and Japan is wrong." "It works best," the pamphlet says, "if `my country' is the U.S.A., England, or France; other European countries will also do. If you come from a non-European country, it is a little more difficult, but if you substitute `other countries' or `foreign countries' for `my country' the formula will still work."

The pamphlet insists, " Any issue can be translated into this formula !! (emphasis in original). Whatever question you take up, rearrange it so that the entity at fault is `Japan.' Not an individ- ual, not a group, not the pressures of modern society, but `Japan.'

"Then point out that in your country (or in `foreign countries') this problem does not exist. Repeat this over in two or three different ways, and you have yourself a very printable Letter to the Editor. Polish it up a bit and some- one may even pay you for it."

The pamphlet goes on to describe several variations of this simple formula. One is the "cultural critique." "Select some custom or practice in Japan that you don't like very much. Describe it. Then point out that in your country they don't do things in that way. Remember, that is all you have to say ! (emphasis in origi nal) You may add some more if you like, but when you have said, `They don't do it that way in my country,' you have said it all. That constitutes the entirety of your criticism of this practice in Japan."

The pamphlet points out that this formula can be, and is, used to criticize virtually anything: fashion, driving customs, mass consumption, manner of keeping pets, ways of working, ways of spending leisure — there is no danger of running out of topics.

The pamphlet also warns that the problem you choose might in fact be a problem in your country. This, of course, would spoil everything. That's why topics must be "rearranged." "If the topic is consumerism, don't criticize consumerism per se, because that would be a criticism of your home country. Criticize only the `Japanese way of consumerism.' Then your home country will be innocent, and the formula will work."

The problem is, I am not able to tell whether this pamphlet is serious, or whether it is a parody.

The publication date is 1957.

Shukan ST: Dec. 24, 1999

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