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Opinion

Showing that you care

By Caroline Pover


見て見ぬ振りはもうしない

他人のもめごとにかかわりあうのをとかく避けたがる日本人。
だが、時には口出しが必要なのでは…。

What would you do if you heard someone crying hysterically in the apartment above you in the middle of the night? Or saw a couple having a noisy argument in the street? Or saw a parent smack a child very hard?

These are not easy questions to answer, and even thinking about these situations makes many people feel uncomfortable. Is the crying from upstairs coming from someone who has been the victim of an attack, or have they had some terrible news about a loved one? Is the couple's argument on the street about to escalate into a violent situation, or are they simply articulating strong emotions about something important to them both? Is the child being abused by the parent on a regular basis, or does the parent have certain views about child-raising that include the belief that the occasional smack doesn't harm a child?

It isn't possible to tell in any of these situations, but it is all too easy to tell ourselves that the incident is an isolated, "innocent" one, and to look the other way.

In Japan, people often seem reluctant to get involved in situations such as these. In many cultures people often feel uncomfortable when faced with people in the above circumstances, but it seems even more so in Japan. Perhaps they see it as interfering with other people's lives, and feel they should keep out. Perhaps they feel that their intervention may make any problems even worse.

In Western cultures, people still have those same worries about whether to interfere or not, but I think recently people are more likely to intervene in this kind of situation. There seems to have been an increase in a sense of community responsibility. Perhaps there have been too many cases where something tragic has happened to someone, and for a long time beforehand neighbors were aware of loud or strange noises, and could have done something to prevent it.

Even if these situations might be nothing to worry about, it doesn't take that much effort on our part just to go up to someone and ask if they are OK. If someone is seriously in danger, then perhaps the victimizer will think twice about doing something again, knowing that someone cares enough to stop and say something. And perhaps the victim might get some comfort, and eventually enough strength to be able to remove themselves from a bad situation. If there are innocent explanations for what at first appear to be sinister situations, then what harm can it do just showing someone that you care?

And if the norm were for people to show their concern for strangers around them in this way, then perhaps so many of the horrible things we hear about every day wouldn't happen so frequently.



Shukan ST: Feb. 11, 2005

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