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学問の悟りの境地
博士課程に進めるかどうかが決まる重要な試験が終わりました。ボストン大学大学院ではこの試験を1年次に1回、2年次に2回受けることができますが、すでに2度受験している雅子さんにとってはこれが最後のチャンス。さて、試験を終えた雅子さんの心境は…?
The BU physics department requires its graduate students to take a comprehensive exam. Most of the new students are given one free shot at the exam after the first semester and two official tries during their second year. Students who already have master's degrees from other colleges get their free shot immediately upon entering and two official tries after that. Students who are returning to the field after a long hiatus are occasionally given an extra year to prepare for the exam. A small fraction of students who fail all of their attempts are given another chance if they effectively petition the exam board. However, most of the students who don't pass the exam by their second official attempt are expelled.
All of my roommates were in their respective home countries during winter break, so I took this opportunity to spread out within the apartment in order to suit my needs. I opened my books on the tables in the kitchen and in the living room. I put a lot of books and papers on my bed, so I often slept in other rooms as well. I took very long baths in order to relax myself and lots of showers to wake myself up (I usually try to keep my bathroom time short because we only have one bathroom).
I had the good fortune to get the title of an excellent study guide right before the vacation, so I used this guide almost exclusively for the last few weeks of studying. I know that cramming or number crunching is frowned upon by academicians who value the understanding of the larger picture, but I appreciated the practical approach of this guide. It consisted of hundreds of sample exam problems from universities across the States ― and it had clear, detailed solutions to all of them. Because there are a limited number of patterns governing how problems are formulated on such an exam, I tried to recognize ― and memorize ― all of them.
Thus armed, I walked into the first round of exams: mechanics, electricity and magnetism, and quantum mechanics. When I actually started solving the problems, I was stunned to realize that most of them were either (1) of a pattern that I couldn't recognize or (2) of a recognizable pattern but more difficult to solve than I'd anticipated. We're not required to solve all of them, but the graders take the best scores in each section, so I tried my best to solve all of the problems. Four hours later, I exited the room, dejected.
I went home right away, opened up my books and stared numbly at the pages, but I was too tired to concentrate. Then I recalled all of the times in the past when I have pulled through at the last minute. I realized that not only could I accomplish a lot in a day, but that it was more necessary that I do so now than with a regular deadline, homework assignment or final exam. I decided to go to bed and when I got up, I felt rejuvenated.
For the 24 hours before the second part of the exam, I forced myself to look beyond the words and the patterns of the problems to grasp the underlying meaning. Amazingly, I felt both alert and relaxed as I did this. This encouraged me, and as I went through my books, many of the half-formed parts of previous study attempts suddenly made sense. I stayed at my desk the entire day and most of the night. The boredom and sleepiness that usually come with long periods at the desk did not hit until a few hours before the exam. I think I'd reached the academic equivalent of what athletes call the "zone." I took a short nap in my office and went to the exam room. I looked at the exam problems and I felt comfortable. I still don't know whether that last burst of steam will get me past my goal but I felt happy as I left the room that day. I had experienced something I'd almost forgotten ― the exhilaration of understanding ― and I knew I wanted more of it.
I am in that limbo between having taken an important exam and not having heard the results. There is nothing I can really do about it now (except maybe pray), but I can reflect upon it. I know that, in a certain sense, this is useless thinking but I can't help myself. Once the results are in, I will be confronted with a truth, and I will have to respond to it in real-life terms. Right now, I can afford to theorize and I shall choose to do so.
The BU physics department requires its graduate students to take a comprehensive exam. Most of the new students are given one free shot at the exam after the first semester and two official tries during their second year. Students who already have master's degrees from other colleges get their free shot immediately upon entering and two official tries after that. Students who are returning to the field after a long hiatus are occasionally given an extra year to prepare for the exam. A small fraction of students who fail all of their attempts are given another chance if they effectively petition the exam board. However, most of the students who don't pass the exam by their second official attempt are expelled.
All of my roommates were in their respective home countries during winter break, so I took this opportunity to spread out within the apartment in order to suit my needs. I opened my books on the tables in the kitchen and in the living room. I put a lot of books and papers on my bed, so I often slept in other rooms as well. I took very long baths in order to relax myself and lots of showers to wake myself up (I usually try to keep my bathroom time short because we only have one bathroom).
I had the good fortune to get the title of an excellent study guide right before the vacation, so I used this guide almost exclusively for the last few weeks of studying. I know that cramming or number crunching is frowned upon by academicians who value the understanding of the larger picture, but I appreciated the practical approach of this guide. It consisted of hundreds of sample exam problems from universities across the States ― and it had clear, detailed solutions to all of them. Because there are a limited number of patterns governing how problems are formulated on such an exam, I tried to recognize ― and memorize ― all of them.
Thus armed, I walked into the first round of exams: mechanics, electricity and magnetism, and quantum mechanics. When I actually started solving the problems, I was stunned to realize that most of them were either (1) of a pattern that I couldn't recognize or (2) of a recognizable pattern but more difficult to solve than I'd anticipated. We're not required to solve all of them, but the graders take the best scores in each section, so I tried my best to solve all of the problems. Four hours later, I exited the room, dejected.
I went home right away, opened up my books and stared numbly at the pages, but I was too tired to concentrate. Then I recalled all of the times in the past when I have pulled through at the last minute. I realized that not only could I accomplish a lot in a day, but that it was more necessary that I do so now than with a regular deadline, homework assignment or final exam. I decided to go to bed and when I got up, I felt rejuvenated.
For the 24 hours before the second part of the exam, I forced myself to look beyond the words and the patterns of the problems to grasp the underlying meaning. Amazingly, I felt both alert and relaxed as I did this. This encouraged me, and as I went through my books, many of the half-formed parts of previous study attempts suddenly made sense. I stayed at my desk the entire day and most of the night. The boredom and sleepiness that usually come with long periods at the desk did not hit until a few hours before the exam. I think I'd reached the academic equivalent of what athletes call the "zone." I took a short nap in my office and went to the exam room. I looked at the exam problems and I felt comfortable. I still don't know whether that last burst of steam will get me past my goal but I felt happy as I left the room that day. I had experienced something I'd almost forgotten ― the exhilaration of understanding ― and I knew I wanted more of it.
Shukan ST: Jan. 23, 1998
(C) All rights reserved
- limbo
- 中間地点
- except maybe pray
- 多分祈る以外は
- reflect upon 〜
- 〜 について考える
- in a certain sense
- ある意味で
- I can't help myself
- やめられない
- Once the results are in
- 結果が出てしまえば
- be confronted with 〜
- 〜 に直面する
- respond to 〜
- 〜 に対応する
- in real-life terms
- 実生活の上で
- can afford to theorize
- 理論的に考えることができる
- BU
- Boston University
- physics department
- 物理学部
- comprehensive exam
- 総合テスト
- free shot
- 任意に受験する機会
- semester
- (2学期制の)学期
- official tries
- 正式な受験
- master's degrees
- 修士号
- immediately upon 〜
- 〜 してすぐに
- hiatus
- 中断
- occasionally
- たまに
- A small fraction of 〜
- 小数の 〜
- fail
- 失敗する
- attempts
- 挑戦
- effectively
- 効果的に
- petition
- 嘆願する
- board
- 審議会
- are expelled
- 除籍される
- respective
- それぞれの
- took this opportunity to 〜
- この機会を 〜 するのに利用した
- spread out
- 自分の場所を広げる
- in order to suit 〜
- 〜 に合うように
- had the good fortune
- ついていた
- title
- 本
- exclusively
- 集中的に
- cramming
- 詰め込むこと
- number crunching
- 単に公式にあてはめて計算すること
- is frowned upon
- 良く思われない
- academicians
- 学者
- value 〜
- 〜 をよしとする
- appreciated
- ありがたく思った
- practical
- 実践的な
- consisted of 〜
- 〜 で構成されていた
- the States
- アメリカ
- detailed soulutions
- 詳しく解説された答え
- are formulated
- 作られる
- memorize
- 暗記する
- Thus armed
- このように試験に備えて
- mechanics
- 力学
- electricity and magnetism
- 電気学と磁気学
- quantum mechanics
- 量子力学
- actually
- 実際に
- was stunned to 〜
- 〜 してがく然とした
- (had)anticipated
- 予期した
- graders
- 採点者
- tried my best to 〜
- 全力を尽くして 〜 した
- exited
- 出た
- dejected
- がっかりして
- stared numbly
- ぼんやり見つめた
- concentrate
- 集中する
- recalled
- 思い出した
- have pulled through
- 切り抜けてきた
- at the last minute
- 土壇場で
- accomplish
- やり遂げる
- regular deadline
- 普段の締め切り
- assignment
- 課題
- felt rejuvenated
- 元気を取り戻した
- grasp
- つかむ
- underlying meaning
- 裏にある意味
- Amazingly
- 驚くことに
- alert
- 頭がはっきりした
- encouraged
- 励ました
- went through
- 復習した
- half-formed
- 半分しか理解できなかった
- previous
- 以前の
- made sense
- 分かった
- entire day
- まる一日
- boredom
- あきること
- equivalent of 〜
- 〜 に相当するもの
- athletes
- スポーツマン
- nap
- 昼寝
- office
- 研究室
- burst of steam
- 力の発揮
- get me past my goal
- テストに合格させる
- exhilaration
- 爽快感