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Letter from Boston

Tobias Returns To Germany

By MASAKO YAMADA


トバイアス、祖国ドイツに帰る

雅子さんのルームメートの1人が大学院を修了し、先週、祖国ドイツに帰りました。単位の取得が卒業式までに間に合わないというトラブルもありましたが、なんとか無事に修士号を取得することができました。でも、1人減ったアパートは空虚な感じがします。

My roommate, Tobias, returned to Germany last week. He had been a graduate student at the Boston University School of Education (SED) as a Fulbright scholar for the past two years. The SED at BU is one of the few schools in the country that has a graduate program focusing on American sign language, and Tobias who studied German sign language as an undergraduate — came to BU to earn his Master of Arts.

My other roommates, Raj and Alex, went to Tobias' graduation ceremony I was still in France — to see him get his diploma. The thing is, his diploma case actually didn't have a diploma inside! Because of some last-minute troubles, he was unable to finish his degree requirements on time. He still has to do some work in Germany before BU grants him his degree. There are quite a few students in the States who forget to fulfill all of their core requirements or who don't get their thesis done in time for their scheduled graduation dates. They are allowed to take part in graduation festivities — and can be in the yearbook and have their names printed in the program — but they aren't allowed to touch their diplomas until all of the official requirements are fulfilled.

I recently saw pictures of Tobias' graduation and it made me sorry that I wasn't able to go. It would have been a perfect opportunity to have one more roommate party. The four of us haven't seen each other for a long time. Alex works at Brookhaven National Laboratory in New York during the summer, so he wasn't able to go to Tobias' birthday party in the beginning of June, nor was he able to see him off last week. I'm glad that I was at least able to go to those events.

I think Tobias is very different from Alex, Raj and me. Although he has a lot of friends, he's not really into loud parties and big events. My birthday party involved dozens of people from different places drinking, dancing and getting to know each other; Tobias' birthday party involved a few of his close friends sitting outside on a porch while nibbling on munchies and drinking beer. Tobias has a great sense of humor — he loves the American satiric cartoon "The Simpsons" and the wonderful British claymation "Wallace and Grommit" — but he is not showy in any sense. I think Alex, Raj and I can get a bit moody and caught up in our personal problems at times but Tobias is strangely calm and grounded. He once did tell me about the frustrations of working with deaf children but he didn't express this in a selfish or catty way.

Tobias always came home early and went to bed at around midnight and for this reason, I didn't spend much time with Tobias, especially right before he left. However, now that he's gone, I realize what a presence he had in the apartment. He's certainly part of the reason why the bathroom was always magically clean and the refrigerator was full. More than that, however, I realize that I always expected him to be there when I got home. Raj and I were sitting in the kitchen after Tobias left and we commented on how quiet it was without him. I guess after one lives with a person for while, one comes to expect the little sounds that the other person makes, even when one is not really listening.

Of course, there is a reason to be happy for his going back as well. With his master's degree, it looks like he'll be able to get a teaching position at his old university. He has family and friends back home too. When I asked him whether he'd like to come back to the states again, he said that he'd definitely like to come back on vacation but not necessarily for an extended period of time. I suppose he was ready to go back.

I have a personal reason to be happy for his returning to Germany too: I'm sure that if I ever decide to visit Germany, he'd make sure that I feel comfortable. Many of his friends from Germany have come to visit him and I've seen that he's a genial host. After having gone to Paris for the first time this May, I realize that visiting Europe doesn't have to be a super-expensive once-in-a-lifetime deal. Although our apartment has been like a mini-United Nations in Boston, I haven't been a very worldly traveler. I'd like to take any opportunity I have to visit my friends' home countries ... I believe that Germany will be my first stop.


Shukan ST: June 26, 1998

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