Letter from Boston
Office Romance
By MASAKO YAMADA
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社内恋愛
職場恋愛や職場結婚のカップルは、自分たちの関係を公にしないことが多いようです。一般に、そういう関係は公私混同につながり、仕事に差し支えると考えられているためでしょうか。しかし、雅子さんが、先日の演奏会で聞いた音楽家夫妻による二重奏は、夫婦ならではの素晴らしいものでした。
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"Office romance" is a term that is rife with negative connotations.
Budding relationships between co-workers are usually kept secret, partly
so that the couple can retain some privacy, but also so that their romance
doesn't interfere with how others perceive their work.
I think many people think that an office romance interferes with group dynamics within a company and look down upon people who allow personal
relationships to interfere with their jobs. They may also subconsciously
look down on the apparent lack of romance of a relationship that begins in
the workplace.
There is absolutely no moral reason for married co-workers to hide the
fact that they are married, but many still choose not to announce it. Perhaps
this is because they fear that their work as individuals will not be taken
seriously if people know that they have another life together outside of the
workplace.
Perhaps public opinion says that two partners cannot judge each other
objectively and that nepotism will inevitably creep in, for instance,
when it comes to evaluations that lead to salary or position upgrades.
However, I think there are specific cases in which such "subjectivity"
and personal "interference" can enhance job performance. For instance, I
know at least four married couples who perform together as professional
musicians. There is something very special about watching these couples
perform, and I can't help thinking that their being married makes a difference.
I like knowing a little bit about the personal lives of public performers,
even though this theoretically shouldn't affect the quality of their
performance.
I find that most married couples who perform together do not mention the
fact that they are married in their programs or press materials. Since many
of the women do not change their last names, it's nearly impossible to find
out unless you know due to personal connections or from gossip.
I went to a recital last week in which one of my music teachers performed
with his wife. There was absolutely no mention in the program of their being
married. His wife was merely referred to as a "guest artist."
I went to another recital today in which another music teacher of mine
performed with her husband. Although their marital status was not revealed
in the program, she mentioned before their duet that her husband had taken time off from work to play with her. I was touched by this "confession,"
since it seemed to make her vulnerable in these competitive times.
Their musical performance was absolutely top notch, but I was
especially struck by one moment in which her husband slowly turned her page
in the score as she held a long note. Their eye signals gave me shivers.
They gave each other a little hug after the performance, too — another
gesture that was very touching, although it probably would have been
considered inappropriate in most other jobs. And, according to some, even in
the world of music.
Although people might say that the artsy world of music is differ
ent from the "real" world, I have seen this kind of interaction enhance
job performance in some other fields, as well. For instance, there were two
married couples on the faculty of the English department at my college.
There is a married couple on the faculty of the physics department where I
study, as well as a few grad student couples and postdoc couples. I love
watching these couples interact. It seems that their honest communication and
cooperation enhances the quality of their research. If anything, I think
they are more fair and critical of each other than of outsiders, since they
aren't forced to observe the common rules of politeness.
Their personal entanglements undoubtedly make their relationships with
others more complex, but they certainly know how to behave so that others are
not made to feel uncomfortable. I think they add a touch of warmth to what
can be a rather stark environment.
Shukan ST: Feb. 18, 2000
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