Essay

No regrets

By Samantha Loong

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Twenty seconds doesn't seem very long, but on one fine Sunday in July, twenty seconds felt like twenty minutes. I found myself crouched under my desk at 5:09 p.m. watching things tumble from my shelves and listening to the increasingly loud rattling of glass bottles. This was one of the biggest earthquakes Wellington had experienced and I was utterly terrified.

At the same time, part of me was washed over with a strange sense of calm. I thought that if this was how I was going to meet my end, then I was ready. I didn't have a single feeling of regret, of "If only I had ..."

Regret is a frustrating feeling, because it's impossible to go back in time and change what you would've done. At the time, we may have decided to not do something because of a fear of physical danger. But often in our everyday lives, it's because of a fear of rejection, embarrassment or the unknown. This is especially so with many students at my school who have said they find it difficult to speak English because they're afraid of making mistakes.

No language learner, including any native speaker, has ever spoken a language perfectly from day one. Native English speakers themselves are notorious for making grammatical mistakes and spelling errors, sometimes even on billboards. The main thing to remember as a language learner is that you can only worry about one thing at a time. Don't try to tackle your pronunciation, intonation and grammar all at once. Decide what you want to work on for that day and focus on that. And most importantly, don't ever regret making a mistake -- how else will you learn?

Fear of change is also what keeps us from improving or finding a more fulfilling life. Some language learners are afraid to try new ways of learning. Some adults in high stress or unsatisfying jobs are afraid to change their situation. As my fitness class instructors keep telling us, if things are getting too difficult, you always have options. Taking baby steps forward is better than not moving forward at all.

This year, I've tried new sports, spoken up in meetings, let myself be myself and even worn my heart on my sleeve. There has been awkwardness, embarrassment, and in the case of the sports, a few bruises and a new scar. But I've also made new friends, learned new skills and realised that my physical and mental limits are never where I think they are -- I can always push them just that little bit more.

Whether it's something small like speaking the language you're learning, or improving yourself or your job, fears, doubts and nerves will always be there to test you. So the next time you find yourself holding back for whatever reason, remind yourself that if you're not nervous, you're probably not doing it right. Don't find yourself under a desk, thinking about your mortality and wondering what might've been.

後悔しない

ニュージーランドのウェリントンで大きいな地震を経験した筆者は、机の下にうずくまっている時、ものすごい恐怖を覚えながらも、同時に、不思議と落ち着いた気持ちの自分に気付いたという。

The Japan Times ST: September 20, 2013