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夏に日本を脱出する
カナダ出身の筆者は日本の暑い夏が大の苦手。19年前、初めて来日した年の夏には、浴衣を着てみたり、うちわを持ち歩いてみたりとあれこれ試しましたが、どれも厳しい暑さを和らげてはくれません。そんなある日、ホストファミリーの冷凍庫に入っていた保冷剤を見て、一つのアイデアがひらめきました。保冷剤で、冬の懐炉とは逆の、冷却用懐炉みたいなものを作れば売れるんじゃないか…!?
Escape Japan
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ニュージーランド・クライストチャーチの南極大陸センターで遊ぶ息子たち
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It must be because I'm Canadian and so I'm used to cool dry summers, but every year I swear that the hot and humid Japanese summer will be the end of me. If I didn't live up in the treetops I think that I would have melted away long ago.
The Miso Barrel Tree House is much cooler than the concrete jungle in the valley below us but I still find the stifling heat almost unbearable. As a long-time resident of Japan you would think that I would have acclimatized by now. I must admit that I find it a little more tolerable now than when I first came to Japan 19 years ago. But I still hate the heat.
During my first summer here, I felt like a walking waterfall of sweat. ("Only horses sweat. People perspire!" my mum used to say.) I tried everything to get away from the heat. I wore traditional Japanese summer clothes only to find that as I perspired they became see-through, exposing more of my body than was modest. I found the art of using a hand-held fan very tiring plus I kept putting the fans down somewhere and losing them. I set up a baby pool in my host family's parking space but my host father didn't want to risk parking on the street and getting a ticket, so that idea fell through. Besides, the hot concrete soon turned my pool into a hot tub. I consumed so much ice cream and shaved ice that I was constantly getting brain-freeze headaches.
But necessity is the mother of invention and one morning I had a great idea!
I will never forget how excited I was when I first came up with the idea of Cool Pocket Packs - a reversal of the winter pocket warmers that they sell here in Japan. This wonderful inspiration hit me as I was opening the freezer and saw four small cool packs. "Wow!" I thought. "They are the perfect size for my pockets! Two in the front pockets and two in the back pockets of my trousers." I was already shivering with delight at the thought of a little escape from the heat.
Being an international business student at the time my mind started racing with dreams of actually creating, patenting and selling Cool Pocket Packs, the ultimate portable pocket coolers. I even dreamed up little belts with pockets for the Pocket Cool Packs for clothes without pockets. Even Cool Pack Socks! My host father didn't warm to the idea at all. He was convinced that nothing could improve on a good Japanese fan.
But with all the passion of youth, I was on a roll. My host mother was right onto the idea. "Yes, it might work," she said. "There are cool packs for eyes. Maybe you could make some sunglasses with cool packs in the frames!" Finally, my host father started getting excited. "Yeah," he said. "They have those crazy hats with built-in fans, right! And people do put cool drinks on their foreheads. John, maybe you are smarter than you look!"
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夏には日本脱出がベストと学んだギャスライトさん
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Was it ever cool! My body
was soon smothered in a bliss of frozen numbness. The Cool Pocket Packs did make my pants a little tight but, hey, I felt cool and was feeling pretty cool knowing that I had potential fortunes freezing in my pockets. I was thrilled with the prototype test - until I took off my pants!
I had major frostbite - on my legs, bum and private places!
Talk about a bummer! My dreams of Cool Pocket Pack fortunes went up in smoke and I found myself in the doctor's office with my pants down. My frostbite would require creams and bandages for the next week. My Cool Pocket Pack days were over. And I had terrible frostbite on top of the dreaded hot and humid summer.
Almost 20 years later and still in Japan, I no longer dream of creating new revolutionary products to pass the hot and humid summers. I am now older and wiser. My pockets are empty of cool packs, but thankfully, are more full of cold, hard cash than they used to be. I have learned to put the money to great use. Forget about pockets being cool; go for a whole-body freeze. Escape from Japan and go to Antarctica.
Actually, I didn't go quite so far. I ended up going to the Antarctica Center in Christchurch, New Zealand. What a wonderfully cool and exciting place it was - not only the Antarctica Center but all of New Zealand. The country was cool and the people warm.
This summer has already started and the heat is rising from the town in the valley below us. But the Gathright family is sitting cool, because this summer we have plans for a trip to the great white north, the land of snow and cold - Canada.
Shukan ST: July 9, 2004
(C) All rights reserved
- (am)used to 〜
- 〜に慣れている
- swear
- 断言する
- humid
- 湿気のある
- will be the end of me
- 私の身を滅ぼすだろう
- treetops
- 木のこずえ
- would have melted away long ago
- ずっと前に溶けてなくなってしまっていただろう
- Miso Barrel Tree House
- 筆者が住む、ミソだるでできたツリーハウス
- concrete jungle
- コンクリートのジャングル(町)
- valley
- 谷
- stifling
- むっとするような
- unbearable
- 耐えられない
- long-time resident
- 長期在住者
- would have acclimatized by now
- 今ごろはもう環境に順応しただろう
- tolerable
- 耐えられる
- walking waterfall of sweat
- 歩く汗の滝
- Only horses sweat. People perspire!
- (sweat という言葉は上品でないので perspire を使いなさい、とたしなめる昔の言い回し)
- only to find that 〜
- 結果は〜だった
- became see-through
- 透けてきた
- exposing
- 露出して
- than was modest
- たしなみに欠けるほど
- hand-held fan
- うちわ
- parking space
- 駐車場
- risk
- 危険を冒す
- getting a ticket
- 駐車違反で切符を切られる
- fell through
- 失敗に終わった
- hot tub
- ホットタブ(温水浴槽)
- shaved ice
- カキ氷
- brain-freeze headaches
- 冷たいものを食べたときのキーンという頭痛
- necessity is the mother of invention
- 必要は発明の母
- winter pocket warmers
- 懐炉のこと
- inspiration
- ひらめき
- freezer
- 冷凍庫
- trousers
- ズボン
- (was)shivering with delight
- 喜びにおののいていた
- patenting
- 特許を取る
- ultimate
- 究極の
- didn't warm to 〜
- 〜に乗り気にならなかった
- improve on 〜
- 〜の上を行く
- was on a roll
- 勢いづいていた
- was right onto 〜
- 〜にすぐ乗ってきた
- Was it ever cool!
- なんと涼しかったことか
- (was)smothered in a bliss of frozen numbness
- 凍ったものに触れているせいで無感覚になってきて、至福を味わった
- potential fortunes
- 大金の可能性
- was thrilled with 〜
- 〜にわくわくした
- prototype
- 試作品
- major frostbite
- 凍傷
- bum
- おしり
- private places
- 大切な場所
- Talk about a bummer!
- がっかりでしたよ
- went up in smoke
- 煙と消えた
- dreaded
- 大嫌いな
- revolutionary
- 革命的な
- cold, hard cash
- 現金
- Antarctica
- 南極大陸
- ended up 〜
- 結局〜することになった