Essay

Conventions and underlying stories

By Rob Schwartz

The societies of Japan and the United States are quite different and because of these differences, Japanese and American people often have a difficult time communicating. This difficulty is not only based on the mastery of the other's language. It is based on different sets of social conventions and the underlying stories for these conventions. By underlying stories, I mean our cultures' unspoken assumptions.

One example of social convention can be seen when visiting an acquaintance's house. In the United States, it is not unusual for friends, or even co-workers, to drop by your house. While certainly we have formal dinners or visits as well, I'm referring to the custom of stopping by more casually (although it is generally considered rude to arrive unannounced). In Japan, it is rather unusual to visit a friend's house this casually, and extremely rare for a co-worker to do so.

We could say that once you get to the friend's/co-worker's house how you might expect to be treated would be different. In Japan, you would probably be showed a considerable amount of deference, treated as an honored guest. In the United States, things would be more casual, and you might be treated almost as a family member. This leads us to underlying stories. In Japan, the underlying story in this social situation is that "the other person is to be treated as a superior, and with great respect." In the United States, the story is that "we are equals, and very relaxed with each other."

If we take this illustration further, on entering a friend's house in a casual visit in the United States, the host may say something like "Grab a seat anywhere," or he/she may not even pay attention to where you sit. This continues the idea that "You are a near-family member." In Japan, the host would likely show you to a seat, since the underlying notion is "You are an honored guest."

Another example of social convention is the use of speech in the two cultures. In Japan, during a discussion it might be considered respectful to listen silently to the other's opinion, but in the United States, a person who does not contribute their opinion to a discussion might be considered boring. Generally speaking in the United States, the social convention is to offer opinions, whereas in Japan it may be to stay silent. The underlying story for the former here is "We all have valuable opinions," and in the latter "I'm respecting you by listening to your opinion."

To enhance intercultural communication it is important to understand the other's social conventions, and even more important to understand the underlying stories on which these conventions are based.

Shukan ST: July 25, 2008

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