Essay

In the name of equality

By Kit Pancoast Nagamura

A legal decision over whether women may choose to retain their maiden names after marriage seems long overdue in Japan. Of course the subject will raise the hackles of conservatives who don't want old laws adjusted, regardless of how outdated or unfair they might be. They will claim nothing less than the sinking of the traditional family unit over this issue. News flash: The traditional family unit is already in icy waters. Perhaps offering women equal rights and respect when setting out on the seas of modern matrimony is a move in the right direction.

Critics claim that women who choose to keep their family surnames after marriage will complicate banking, health, family and tax records, and even mislead neighbors who might gossip that the pair are just shacking up together. Solutions to these problems will require tedious administrative paper-pushing and neighborly communication, but navigational burdens such as these are no less strenuous than those faced by any woman who has made her name in the world, and then must ditch it to get hitched.

A woman's nominal identity — in terms of name, reputation, and fiscal value — historically has been a commodity easily rebranded in Japan. Rare indeed is the man who agrees to be adopted into his wife's family, and thereby take on her name. The idea of changing all one's personal documents — name cards, stationery, I.D.s — then notifying all one's social contacts and erasing one's own family name is, it seems, not exactly appealing to men. Funny, that.

Conservatives also argue that if a mother keeps her family name, her children might face stigmatism at school. Perhaps — kids can be cruel when ignorant of social change — but in other countries around the world, this is virtually a non-issue. Some couples saddle their children with hyphenated or doubled up surnames, and aside from limitations of the practice (yard-long names?) this too causes no alarm. Ultimately it seems that if name decisions are made and bolstered by both parents and backed by the law, the child is unlikely to suffer as a result.Amending the law could, however, alleviate confusion or stress currently faced by children of women who, for professional or private reasons, live outside the law in order to protect their maiden names.

Allowing choice, at the very least, would acknowledge a shift in women's place in society and stimulate discussion of gender issues that, left submerged, could rip holes in the hull of family relationships like an iceberg.

Years ago, while we were still dating, my forward-looking husband had a fountain pen and pencil set engraved for us. My first name was on the pen and his first name on the pencil, but he had ordered both our family names carved into both tools. I remember being surprised that a Japanese man would honor my family name by putting it in writing right beside his own. It was a romantic and sensitive gift, and it described our future together.Though most women, then as now, take their husband's surname after marriage, my suitor did not simply assume I would jettison my family and career appellation for his. Mutual respect is the name of this game. Let's hope the concept goes legal here in Japan soon.

Shukan ST: April 30, 2010

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