Essay

The problem with 'Kip'

By Kip Cates

I have a name problem. A big problem. Let me explain. My full name is Alexander Kippen Cates, but my family has always called me Kip. I like the name Kip because it's short, easy to remember and quite rare. The problem is that my name takes on different meanings in different countries.

I first ran into this problem when I went to England. Whenever I introduced myself to British people, they'd laugh. I soon learned the reason why. The word "kip" in British English is slang for "nap." When I introduced myself, people would say, "Your name is Kip? You must be sleepy. Why don't you take a kip?" I spent about two years in England and gradually got used to these jokes. Perhaps, I thought, I'll have better luck with my name in Europe.

When I got to Germany, people asked me what my name "Kip" stood for. When I told them that "Kip" was short for "Kippen," they laughed. Why? Because "kippen" in German means "to fall down." My German friends often joked, "Be careful going down the stairs, Kippen! You might kippen!" During my five months in Germany, I got endless jokes about falling down.

The problem got worse when I got to Holland. I still remember my first day in Amsterdam. I was hungry and went into a restaurant to eat. The waiter brought the menu. As I started to read through the dishes, I had a sudden shock. My name was on the menu! Why? Because in Dutch, the word "kip" means "chicken"! When Dutch people order Kentucky Fried Chicken, they ask for Kentucky Fried Kip. I'm still embarrassed that my name is on the menu of every restaurant in Holland.

Finally, I came to Japan. "Maybe here," I thought, "I can escape all these jokes about my name." No such luck! As soon as I introduced myself, Japanese people laughed. "What's your name?" they asked. "Kip," I said. "What kind of kippu are you?" they teased. "A bus kippu? A train kippu? A plane kippu?" When I checked my Japanese-English dictionary, I discovered that my name, Kip, means "ticket" in Japanese. Jokes, jokes and more jokes. I couldn't escape!

It was discouraging having people laugh at my name in so many places. "There must be one country," I thought, "where my name has a good meaning." Finally, I found it. Laos! It turns out that the word "kip" is the name of the money in Laos. Where Japanese use yen and Canadians use dollars, people in Laos use "kip." Now, whenever I hear too many jokes about my name, I take out the 100 kip bill from Laos that a friend gave me and remember that, at least in one country, my name has a very special value!

Shukan ST: DECEMBER 16, 2011

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