Opinion

Talking to yourself

By Tony Laszlo

Thanks to cellphones, talking to yourself in public is now acceptable. Think back to the pre-keitai days. A person walking down the street couldn't simply start talking away to himself. Not without drawing strange looks. But nowadays, it is possible to expound on the intricate details of a life crisis — right in the middle of a sea of people — as long as you are holding a cellphone up to your ear.

I was startled when I first saw — or rather heard — someone doing this. I was diligently studying the bubbles of a cappuccino in what had been a rather quiet cafe. "Uso. Maji? What a dope that guy is. You know, I heard that he ..." Someone across the room began spewing out gossip. She punctuated her observations with gales of hearty laughter, and then smacked the table now and again. Not altogether unlike a kodan master, I thought. The woman seemed quite oblivious to the fact that everyone in the place could not help but overhear her. How unusual, I thought. But then, I saw other people doing it. While in line waiting for a taxi, for example, someone behind me was saying, "Sorry, I'm broke. I need more time to pay up. Please?!"

Some might suggest that these are just isolated incidents of people displaying bad manners, but the issue should not be so easily dismissed. What we are seeing is more of a fundamental social transition. Cellphone users are gradually feeling more comfortable — and more compelled — to engage in intimate, personal conversations on their phones whenever and wherever their phone rings. I suppose people are also gradually learning to tune out such conversations — at least, to some extent.

Thus, one must accept the fact that this type of behavior is probably here to stay. And if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Come to think of it, being able to talk to yourself in public is perfect for language learners. No one says you have to use your native tongue when talking to yourself, so why not use a second language that you are still learning?

Consider that you needn't really have anyone on the line to enjoy this new freedom. In fact, the cellphone needn't be turned on at all. You could just hold it up to your ear and babble away. For those of you who have been complaining that you have no one to practice English with, now you do. You can talk to yourself.

Of course, muttering simple phrases into the receiver won't do. For people to believe you are on the phone, the "conversation" has to be vivid, like something from a soap opera, perhaps. Here's something to get you started:

"The nerve of that guy! Going off to date my sister, then my best friend and then chatting up my mother. Now he wants to come back to me again? Well, I never want to see him again as long as I live. Never! Hmm? Oh, I know I'm going to hate myself for saying this, but ... maybe just once more, then."

Shukan ST: June 17, 2005

(C) All rights reserved