Opinion

Tying the knot

By Caroline Pover

Weddings are on my mind, as I'm planning my own October wedding at the moment. I have found some interesting differences between Japanese and English weddings, and even though no wedding is ever the same, there do seem to be some striking differences between weddings in Japan and weddings in the U.K.

The style of the bride's wedding dress seems to be the most obvious difference. In Britain, simple, elegant dresses are generally considered to be most fashionable. Women there generally consider lots of frills and bows childish and unflattering, and dresses with very full skirts are negatively referred to as "meringues," because they look like a big, sugary dessert! In Japan, though, it seems that full skirts and lots of little details, are quite desirable.

In Britain, the first time the groom sees the bride wearing her dress is when she walks toward him at the wedding venue ― at the beginning of the ceremony. It is considered to be very bad luck for the groom to see the wedding dress before the wedding (and it is also bad luck for the groom to see the bride on the night before the wedding). However, when I have been to wedding dress shops in Japan, I have seen men in the shops too. They wait as their future wives come out from the changing rooms after trying on several dresses and ask them what they think. This came as a very big surprise to me!

Regarding the wedding reception, in Britain, the bride and her female relatives, especially her mother, traditionally organize the reception, which usually goes on all afternoon and evening until very late. In Japan, it seems that the couple's friends organize the reception, which is usually just for a few hours. In Britain, the couple's families usually play a key role in the day, sitting at a "top table" with the newlyweds, and with the bride's father usually giving a speech. In Japan, it seems that the couple's families take a back seat in the procedures. Friends or bosses tend to make speeches about the couple, and the couple sit together, but apart from everyone else during the meal.

In Japan, brides tend to change into different outfits during the day, whereas English brides usually wear their wedding dress throughout the day, and sometimes change into a chic suit as their "going away outfit." Also, guests at a Japanese wedding tend to bring money as gifts for the couple, which traditionally would be considered rude in Western culture, where you would be expected to give a gift that would help the newlyweds set up their new home. Nowadays, many couples live together before marriage so household gifts are not always the best thing to give, and department store gift certificates are becoming more popular.

It is interesting to see how different cultures celebrate weddings, but the important thing is that individuals celebrate such a big day exactly how they want to, regardless of what tradition or culture dictates.

Shukan ST: Aug. 12, 2005

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