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Opinion

A tempest in a tiny teapot

There's trouble brewing in a cafe in my neighborhood. After several complaints about unruly children, the owner decided to ban them. Well, not entirely. He has made a couple of exceptions to long-time customers who supervise their children while on the premises. The offending mothers in the meantime have called for a boycott of the cafe, even posting slanderous messages online against its owners. Talk about a tempest in a tiny teapot.

Although I am not a regular customer of this particular cafe, I applaud the owner's decision. In family-style restaurants or where "Happy Meals" are on the menu, noisy children come with the territory. If you don't like screaming toddlers, go somewhere else. But in a more subdued and adult-oriented environment, no one should have to endure the kind of disruptions that come with negligent parents allowing their children to run wild.

Children are not programmed to sit still and silent for extended periods of time, particularly in environments that cannot accomodate their physical needs. Children, by nature, move all the time in order to build up the necessary muscle strength to support their growing bones. Their high-pitched shrieks and yells help them develop their vocal chords. For this reason, kids shouldn't be overly discouraged from being active or noisy. Denying them an outlet for their physical needs and the chance to express themselves can have a negative impact on their development later in life.

The question is: Do children and their parents reserve the right to cause disruptions whenever and wherever they please? Does having children give you the authority to put your needs above others, regardless of how it may affect them? Children are not the real problem here. If anyone should be criticized, it's the parents who give up responsibility for their children as soon as they leave the house.

I'm not unsympathetic to mothers who seek respite from the drudgery of housework and child-rearing in cafes and restaurants. No one can blame them for wanting a change of scene from time to time. The problem lies in their unwillingness to rein in their children when they misbehave. These parents seldom consider the possibility that taking small children to a restaurant or cafe can result in misery for everyone concerned.

Still, I think it's irresponsible to blame the situation entirely on a few selfish individuals. Affordable daycare and pre-school programs are a low priority in our profit-driven, consumer-obsessed society. Understandably, more women choose to stay single or childless these days. And really, who can blame them?

Meanwhile, the government is hard at work trying to reverse this trend by encouraging women to reproduce, while scaling back on social services in the name of "reform." Instead of taking out their frustrations on the underpaid and overworked staff who most often bear the brunt of their anger, women should put their efforts into organizing at the political level to make better facilities and services available to them.

(489 words)

Discussion: What do you think should be done about negligent parents?

Shukan ST: Dec. 9, 2005

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Opinion A tempest in a tiny teapot By Jennifer Matsui There's trouble brewing in a cafe in my neighborhood. After several complaints about unruly children, the owner decided to ban them. Well, not entirely. He has made a couple of exceptions to long-time customers who supervise their children while on the premises. The offending mothers in the meantime have called for a boycott of the cafe, even posting slanderous messages online against its owners. Talk about a tempest in a tiny teapot. Although I am not a regular customer of this particular cafe, I applaud the owner's decision. In family-style restaurants or where "Happy Meals" are on the menu, noisy children come with the territory. If you don't like screaming toddlers, go somewhere else. But in a more subdued and adult-oriented environment, no one should have to endure the kind of disruptions that come with negligent parents allowing their children to run wild. Children are not programmed to sit still and silent for extended periods of time, particularly in environments that cannot accomodate their physical needs. Children, by nature, move all the time in order to build up the necessary muscle strength to support their growing bones. Their high-pitched shrieks and yells help them develop their vocal chords. For this reason, kids shouldn't be overly discouraged from being active or noisy. Denying them an outlet for their physical needs and the chance to express themselves can have a negative impact on their development later in life. The question is: Do children and their parents reserve the right to cause disruptions whenever and wherever they please? Does having children give you the authority to put your needs above others, regardless of how it may affect them? Children are not the real problem here. If anyone should be criticized, it's the parents who give up responsibility for their children as soon as they leave the house. I'm not unsympathetic to mothers who seek respite from the drudgery of housework and child-rearing in cafes and restaurants. No one can blame them for wanting a change of scene from time to time. The problem lies in their unwillingness to rein in their children when they misbehave. These parents seldom consider the possibility that taking small children to a restaurant or cafe can result in misery for everyone concerned. Still, I think it's irresponsible to blame the situation entirely on a few selfish individuals. Affordable daycare and pre-school programs are a low priority in our profit-driven, consumer-obsessed society. Understandably, more women choose to stay single or childless these days. And really, who can blame them? Meanwhile, the government is hard at work trying to reverse this trend by encouraging women to reproduce, while scaling back on social services in the name of "reform." Instead of taking out their frustrations on the underpaid and overworked staff who most often bear the brunt of their anger, women should put their efforts into organizing at the political level to make better facilities and services available to them. (489 words) Discussion: What do you think should be done about negligent parents? Shukan ST: Dec. 9, 2005 (C) All rights reserved