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Opinion

Reunions

I graduated from the Wellelsey College Class of 1996 and my 10th reunion was held on campus this summer. I was unable to attend because I was attending a conference in San Francisco that weekend, but I would have liked to have gone if I'd had the chance.

Some people don't like institutionalized "group activities" that bind individuals together. The argument is that you make an active effort to keep in touch with real friends ... and the others don't really matter. But I have to say I don't agree with this line of thinking. There are many old classmates I wonder about. I would enjoy hearing about them, but I haven't kept in touch because I haven't had time.

I was able to experience part of the reunion afterwards because the organizing committee put together a reunion booklet. Wellesley College has a database of alumnae e-mail addresses, and earlier this year, members of our graduating class had been asked to submit short entries for the booklet. Over 100 alumnae contributed to the booklet.

When the booklet arrived in the mail, I stayed up very late to read all the entries. At a small, close-knit college like Wellesley, you're expected to "know everybody" by the end of your stint, so I was very surprised to realize that I knew so few of the people who had written entries. I had never spoken to most of the women and I couldn't even recognize the names of many of them.

Given that fewer than 25 percent of the graduating class wrote entries for the booklet, I suppose those who chose to contribute were a self-selected group that didn't necessarily represent the average graduate. Perhaps those who wrote entries were "Wellesley lovers" who were simultaneously proud of what they had become and not too busy so they could spend the time and energy to contribute a report to the booklet. Many of my old college friends would not fall under this type.

And yet I devoured the booklet because I felt a kinship with those who chose to write, even those I would not be able to acknowledge were I to pass them on the street. Most of the women shared personal anecdotes and most of them were not glittery success stories of "having it all." By now, we've come to realize that not many can have a lifestyle of attending fabulous parties, enjoying successful careers and raising healthy kids. A friend who had attended a private prep school before going to Wellesley told me that what she liked about Wellesley is that, unlike her prep school, Wellesley was a place one could feel comfortable writing about one's failures in the "Class Notes."

I consider myself a fairly sociable person now, but when I dig deeper, I realize that when I was in college, I actually kept to myself quite a bit. Moreover, I tended to hang out with others like me — that is to say, people who would not attend reunions and would not contribute to reunion booklets. I very well may not have liked these women 10 years ago. But I realize that I've changed a lot since then, and that I would like to meet many of my classmates anew. I'm grateful that Wellesley College has maintained the formal links that make this possible.

(542 words)

Discussion: What are your feelings about reunions?

Shukan ST: Sept. 8, 2006

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Opinion Reunions By Masako Yamada I graduated from the Wellelsey College Class of 1996 and my 10th reunion was held on campus this summer. I was unable to attend because I was attending a conference in San Francisco that weekend, but I would have liked to have gone if I'd had the chance. Some people don't like institutionalized "group activities" that bind individuals together. The argument is that you make an active effort to keep in touch with real friends ... and the others don't really matter. But I have to say I don't agree with this line of thinking. There are many old classmates I wonder about. I would enjoy hearing about them, but I haven't kept in touch because I haven't had time. I was able to experience part of the reunion afterwards because the organizing committee put together a reunion booklet. Wellesley College has a database of alumnae e-mail addresses, and earlier this year, members of our graduating class had been asked to submit short entries for the booklet. Over 100 alumnae contributed to the booklet. When the booklet arrived in the mail, I stayed up very late to read all the entries. At a small, close-knit college like Wellesley, you're expected to "know everybody" by the end of your stint, so I was very surprised to realize that I knew so few of the people who had written entries. I had never spoken to most of the women and I couldn't even recognize the names of many of them. Given that fewer than 25 percent of the graduating class wrote entries for the booklet, I suppose those who chose to contribute were a self-selected group that didn't necessarily represent the average graduate. Perhaps those who wrote entries were "Wellesley lovers" who were simultaneously proud of what they had become and not too busy so they could spend the time and energy to contribute a report to the booklet. Many of my old college friends would not fall under this type. And yet I devoured the booklet because I felt a kinship with those who chose to write, even those I would not be able to acknowledge were I to pass them on the street. Most of the women shared personal anecdotes and most of them were not glittery success stories of "having it all." By now, we've come to realize that not many can have a lifestyle of attending fabulous parties, enjoying successful careers and raising healthy kids. A friend who had attended a private prep school before going to Wellesley told me that what she liked about Wellesley is that, unlike her prep school, Wellesley was a place one could feel comfortable writing about one's failures in the "Class Notes." I consider myself a fairly sociable person now, but when I dig deeper, I realize that when I was in college, I actually kept to myself quite a bit. Moreover, I tended to hang out with others like me — that is to say, people who would not attend reunions and would not contribute to reunion booklets. I very well may not have liked these women 10 years ago. But I realize that I've changed a lot since then, and that I would like to meet many of my classmates anew. I'm grateful that Wellesley College has maintained the formal links that make this possible. (542 words) Discussion: What are your feelings about reunions? Shukan ST: Sept. 8, 2006 (C) All rights reserved