U.S. Campus Life Being a bridesmaid By Masako Yamada	フレームで見る  英文をプリントする  脚注をプリントする
花嫁の付き添い役に 大学時代からの親友が結婚することになり、花嫁の付き添い役が雅子さんに回ってきました。付き添い役に選ばれるのは光栄なことなのですが、一方で花嫁の世話からパーティーの企画･運営といったことも任されるので、多くの責任と支出が伴います。でも親友のため…まず雅子さんは、彼女に付き添ってドレス選びに出かけました。

Recently, a Japanese friend of mine asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. We've been good friends since college, so I was very excited at the thought of being a bridesmaid. It's the first time I have been asked to be a bridesmaid.

Being a bridesmaid is often considered to be a mixed blessing. On the one hand, it's a kind of "proof" that you have been included in a special circle of friends. On the other hand, there are a lot of responsibilities, including financial responsibilities, that the bridesmaids must assume.

Bridesmaids are a combination of (unpaid) party hostess, sister, marriage counselor, cheerleader, fashion consultant and plain old secretary. They often plan "surprise" parties, keep track of the gifts that each of the guests bring, help make party favors and help the bride search for the perfect dress. They often pay out-of-pocket for their dresses and shoes (which the bride selects and all the bridesmaids tolerate) and hair and makeup appointments. They often pay for their travel expenses, as well.

I knew this wedding would be different. My friend is a graduate student and her fiance is a postdoc, and their goal has been to pay for their own wedding. They can't be extravagant. Since many of their friends are also graduate students, they know they can't expect lavish gifts from them, either. They are trying to do everything they can by themselves, including printing out their own wedding invitations. They have asked their friends to take photos. I might be playing the background music on the piano and helping out with the hair and makeup.

The wedding and reception will be held in Boston, so I won't have to travel out of town. My friend told me from the start that I didn't need to plan any parties, and that I could select any dress I wanted for the wedding and that she would pay for it. I knew I would be able to enjoy all the fun parts of being in a wedding without having to deal with the headaches.

Recently, my friend and I went to a suburb of Boston to check out some wedding dresses. We gasped and giggled over some of the dresses she cut out from a Japanese magazine while we were on the train. She showed me some samples of the wedding invitations that she had designed, and I told her which one I liked. We also discussed the dinner menu options for the reception.

The bridal store was run by a Chinese woman and it obviously catered to an Asian clientele: it advertised limousine ornaments shaped like Mickey Mouse and Hello Kitty. The store also had samples of wedding photos with the bride and groom in fantasy poses with misspelled phrases such as "TURE LOVE" and "You came bake for me" printed across the top. In spite of these cheesy artifacts, I think both of us felt good that the store was accustomed to dealing with Asian customers. American wedding dresses are often very extravagant and sexy, and petite Asians tend to look better in simpler styles. However, the dresses we saw were still a bit flashier than what we wanted, so we knew we would have to continue our search.

On the train back, my friend casually mentioned that she had even considered getting a custom-made dress. She is extremely thin, and I knew she had been having a very hard time searching for dresses that suited her figure. I told her that I knew of a place in Chinatown that takes orders for dresses.

To my surprise, my friend really liked the place. The custom-made dress would cost no more than a dress bought at a bridal store. The seamstress understood that my friend needed an elegant dress that wasn't cut too low. We looked at different fabrics and the seamstress took her measurements right then and there.

We chatted about her upcoming wedding over dinner. She said she had already gone through the typical family conflicts that emerge when any wedding is planned, but things seemed to be falling into place. There are still lots of things to plan, but I felt proud that by leading her to the seamstress in Chinatown, another item has been checked off the list of things to do. This is truly a team effort and I'm having a lot of fun being on the team.

Shukan ST: March 1, 2002

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