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電話は週に1度で十分か?
中国人の女の子とおしゃべりをしていた武藤さん。
「日本にいるガールフレンドに週1回電話している」と話したら、
「週に1回ですって!?彼女を本当に愛しているなら毎日、いいえ、5分おきにでも電話すべきよ!
日本人男性は自己中心的で相手のことを考えていないって、本当だったのね」と酷評されてしまいました。
そこで、世界各国からきている留学生仲間に、どう思うか意見を聞いてみると…。
Once a week?
The other day I was chatting with a Chinese girl about my girlfriend back in Japan. "How often do you call her?" she asked me. I told her once a week. "Once a week!" she cried. "That's not enough. If that's enough for you, then I don't think you really love her. If you really love her, you would call her every day, every five minutes."
I was offended. Since when did this girl have a Ph.D. in Love?
She continued: "I knew it. I've been told that Japanese men are selfish. I've heard that even if they have a girlfriend or wife, they give priority to their work or to their own interests. They never think about their partners. Do you?"
The question struck a nerve. I began to think more deeply about this.
It's curious: the different attitudes people have toward love. Since I came to Australia, I've talked about love with people from all sorts of different countries: from France, Korea, Peru, Germany, America, Thailand, China and, of course, Australia. So I decided to ask my friends: "I normally call my girlfriend once a week. Do you think I should call her more often?"
Phillipe from France went first. "Hey, Kazu," he said, "When it comes to talking about love, the French are the best, because you know, France is the country of love." "Yes, yes," I thought impatiently, "You're not answering my question."
Phillipe said that calling just once a week was unthinkable. "You should call her more often. As much as you can. Twice a day. Once to say good morning, and once to say good night. The good thing is that there isn't much of a time difference between Japan and Australia."
The reactions from my other friends were similar.
Bruno from Peru took a different tack. "You shouldn't worry about what other people say. Just express your feelings directly whenever you want." He added, though, that Japanese men should probably express their feelings a little more often.
A Korean girl told me, "If my boyfriend only called me once a week, I would start worrying about whether he had another girlfriend or not. If he had, I would make him regret it."
Xuan and Jack, my friends from China, said that it would, of course, depend on the woman, but Xuan said he would normally call her every two days. He thought calling her just once a week was a bit harsh on her.
After I'd heard what my friends had to say, they asked me what I thought. Is ringing my girlfriend once a week enough? I still think it is enough. I think calling once or twice a week is better than calling every day of the week, particularly if the couple trust each other like we do.
For me, calling once a week gives me something to look forward to, it gives me something to work hard for during the week, and it means that our conversations never end up just being plain routine. In any case, I do e-mail her during the week as well.
But the Chinese girl was right in some respects. I am probably self-centered, and I don't think I've considered my girlfriend's feelings as much as I should have. I certainly don't know how she feels about my weekly calls. In the meantime, what do you think? Is once a week enough?
- The other day
- 先日
- was chatting with 〜
- 〜とおしゃべりしていた
- cried
- 叫んだ
- enough
- 十分な
- every five minutes
- 5分おきに
- was offended
- 気分を害した
- Ph.D. in Love
- 恋愛についての博士号
- I knew it
- やっぱり
- selfish
- 自己中心的な
- give priority to 〜
- 〜を優先する
- interests
- 興味、関心
- struck a nerve
- 痛いところを突かれた
- deeply
- 深く
- curious
- 興味深い
- attitudes
- 態度
- toward 〜
- 〜に対して
- with people from all sorts of different countries
- さまざまな違った国の人たちと
- Thailand
- タイ
- of course
- もちろん
- decided to 〜
- 〜することにした
- normally
- 普通
- went first
- 初めに答えた
- When it comes to talking about 〜
- 〜に関しては
- you know
- ほら
- impatiently
- いらいらして
- calling
- 電話をかけること
- unthinkable
- 考えられない
- As much as you can
- できるだけ多く
- Twice 〜
- 〜に2度
- time difference
- 時差
- reactions
- 反応
- similar
- 似たような
- tack
- 姿勢
- worry about 〜
- 〜について気をもむ
- express your feelings directly
- 率直に思いを伝える
- whenever you want
- 伝えたいときはいつでも
- regret 〜
- 〜を後悔する
- depend on 〜
- 〜による
- a bit harsh on 〜
- 〜に対してちょっと厳しい
- what my friends had to say
- 友達の意見
- ringing 〜
- 〜に電話すること
- particularly
- 特に
- trust each other
- お互いを信用する
- look forward to
- 楽しみにする
- during the week
- 一週間
- means that 〜
- 〜を意味する
- conversations
- 会話
- never end up 〜
- 〜にならない
- plain routine
- 単に決まりきった内容
- In any case
- ともかく
- in some respects
- ある面で
- probably
- 多分
- self-centered
- 自己中心的な
- (have)considered 〜
- 〜のことを考えてきた
- certainly
- 確かに
- weekly
- 週1回の
- In the meantime
- 一方で