New York Sign Language

Rules of Conduct, Subway-Style

By BOB YAMPOLSKY

Shall we have a little quiz today? Here we have a sign on a token booth that reads "Rules of Conduct." These are the subway rules. Let us see how good your New York sense is. Of the following 13 rules, one caused controversy because it was too strictly enforced. Which do you think it was?

"No destroying subway property." A reasonable rule, though obvious, since destroying property is a crime anywhere. If you start including rules like this, why not also include rules like "No assault, robbery or murder"?

"No littering or creating unsanitary conditions." Okay. But what are "unsanitary conditions"? Anything, I imagine, from spitting to urinating in places where you're not supposed to, which is an old tradition in the subways.

"No smoking." (But cigarette ads are allowed.)

"No drinking alcoholic beverages." (But liquor ads are allowed.)

"No panhandling or begging." Many people ask you for money in the subway: Some play music and ask (see below); others just ask. Those that just ask are prohibited.

"No amplification devices on platforms." On platforms throughout the system you will come across musicians of all sorts playing or singing for donations. This rule prohibits the playing of amplified music, thus telling us that playing unamplified music is allowed.

"No more than one seat per person." In the newer cars, which were designed in Japan, the hard plastic benches are divided into individual seats. When these cars were introduced several years ago, people (most notably, a large Assemblywoman from Brooklyn) complained that the seats were made to fit slender Japanese anatomies, not well-nourished American ones.

"No blocking free movement." A puzzling rule, since free movement is nearly impossible in the subways.

"No lying down." In Japan it may be the drunk businessmen who sleep on the trains, but in New York it is the homeless. This is an anti-homeless rule.

"No unauthorized commercial activities." It is surprising how many types of things are sold on the subways: batteries, fortune cookies, music cassettes. Most are cheap and, one presumes, hot.

"No entering tracks, tunnels and non-public areas." Good idea.

"No bulky items likely to inconvenience others." Good enough, but bicycles, which are bulky and inconvenient to others, are allowed.

"No radio playing audible to others." In the old days ― before Walkmans ― this was simply "No radio playing."

So: Which rule caused the controversy? The heartless anti-homeless rule? The no-panhandling rule?

The answer: No more than one seat per person.

In 1996, more than 30,000 people were ticketed by police officers for occupying more than one seat. The fine was $50 (¥6,300). Now you might imagine someone on a rush-hour train taking up two seats, and the police officer ― defender of law and order and public morals ― pushing through the crowd to punish the rude offender. Not quite: Many tickets were issued to riders on virtually empty trains. Someone spread his legs too wide, or put her bag on the empty seat next to her; a policeman saw this, pulled the "criminal" off the train, and issued a ticket.

Why? The answer is simple: New York needs the money.

The press took up the story ("Fanny Patrol Hits Subway: Cops enforce one-seat rule ― no ifs, ands or butts about it" read a Daily News headline) and the mayor, at a press conference, apologized for the "overzealousness" of some police officers. People who complained got their tickets dropped, and the silliness ended there.

And here too ends our little quiz.

But perhaps something is bothering you, as it bothered me. Let us be frank. This is America, after all ― the Kingdom of the Fatties ― where over 50 percent of the population is overweight. There are not a few people who simply can't fit into one seat. But whether they, when they sit on the subway, are subject to fines, neither the mayor nor the police has made clear.

Shukan ST: April 25, 1997

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