Essay

The non-tourist

By Tony Laszlo

I try to maintain a certain flexibility in my life. For example, I pride myself on the fact that I can eat just about any cuisine without wincing. I try to mix it up when it comes to the music I listen to, as well. However, when it comes to travel I refuse to compromise. I've got my ways and I'm set in them. No flashy, fancy clothing. No wheeling of suitcases down Main Street. No gaping at buildings or people. No group tours.

My style requires that the traveler move alone or in a group of two or three at most. You need some good walking shoes and a pair of slacks that can take a beating (and maybe already has). Put a few pairs of underwear and other essential stuff in a rucksack, preferably the kind that you can smartly turn into a boston bag by pulling down a flap or two. Keep it locked. Put a little pocket money in your pocket, and put anything else of value in the hotel room or in a flat belt or pouch under your clothes, next to your skin. Your camera should be small enough to fit into a zipped pocket and kept there. Use it discreetly and tastefully and without a flash whenever possible. Maps should not be carried like an opened newspaper but folded and folded again so that only the part you need to see fits in the palm of your hand.

In general, blend in with the people around you. Or at least try to stick out as little as possible. In short, try not to look like a tourist, even though you are one. Why do I travel this way? First and foremost, for safety reasons. Even amateur thieves know that, in general, tourists are a plump and vulnerable prey with lots of things of value on their person or very, very near (after all, they could afford to pay for the flight over and those hotel fees ...). They are prone to carelessness, being in an unfamiliar place and toting their belongings in an unfamiliar and probably uncomfortable way. And they can't even cry out for help properly in the local tongue.

Lions attack the stragglers in a herd of zebras or gazelles. Thieves scoping out a human crowd are looking most hungrily at the tourists, I think. Tired-looking ones with too many bags in one hand and a map and some ice cream in the other must be especially tempting.

Why a rucksack? Rucksacks, especially large ones, also scream out that you are from out of town. But at least they allow you to keep your hands and legs free so you can protect yourself to a certain degree. A rucksack gives you the mobility to whirl around quickly and, in a pinch, even run for a bit. Still, you should dump it and any other bags you might have in a hotel room immediately. They're for moving between the hotel and the airplane or train, not for sightseeing.

Why not carry next to nothing? That's the first rule of safe travel: You can't lose what you don't have.

Shukan ST: Nov. 17, 2006

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