English for Wizards

Do you speak Engrish?

By John Moore

日本の看板やTシャツに載っているおかしな英語の写真を集めた Engrish.com

It's fun to play with language, as children in every country do. Children who grow up bilingual, like my son Peter, can play twice as much.

For example, here's a funny riddle: If you say "itadakimasu" before eating, what should you say before drinking? No, it's not "kanpai." According to Peter's funny language, the word is "drink-tadakimasu" as in "eat-tadakimasu." And after he finishes his main food, Peter asks, "Is there a sabaku?" I guess he wants dessert, which sounds like the word "desert."

After supper on Fridays, Peter likes to watch the "kawaita hito" on television. Can you guess what that is? If you translate it into English, it becomes "dry man," which sounds like ... Doraemon. That's it. Peter also used to watch the "tiger-selling man" (Ultraman), but that was "a long egg." In other words, it was a long "time ago," which sounds like the Japanese word "tamago."

When Peter does his homework, he can practice both math and English spelling at the same time. He says, "What's the square root of 64? Ei-ghhht? Yes, that's ri-ghht." Get it? When he finishes the homework, he can go visit his "fry ends," otherwise known as friends.

Speaking of crazy English, I was surfing the Internet the other day and started laughing at something. Peter came over and saw it was Engrish.com (www.engrish.com). This site presents a large collection of photos with weird English used in Japan. There are different sections for building signs, restaurant menus, T-shirts and various consumer products - all featuring strange or incorrect English.

At first, I thought Peter might feel upset about this Web site, because it sort of makes fun of Japanese people, but Peter thought it was great. Maybe he was just happy to see how other people also struggle with English, just like him.

But Engrish.com highlights a serious problem in Japan. It's not that Japanese people can't learn proper English - they don't even try. If you click on the "What is Engrish" link at the top, you'll see an intelligent Q＆A discussion. This is something all English learners in Japan should think about.

To be fair, there are also various Web sites showing how foreigners stumble over Japanese. Click on "Engrish Links" in the lower-right part of the main page, and then scroll down to the section called "Japanese Websites Showcasing Misused Japanese." Enjoy!

You can't learn English without making mistakes, and no one will laugh at you. But before you put up a big sign on the street, ask a native speaker to check it, OK?

Shukan ST: Oct. 17, 2003

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