Eating worms
By John Gathright
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虫を食べても…
何年か前の春に、筆者はある男の子と木に登ったことがある。
当時9歳だったその子は、自分のことも、毎日の生活も、学校や友達も、すべてが嫌いになっていた。
そのとき筆者の口をついて出てきてのは"Nobody likes me, everybody hates me ..."で始まる、よく知られた子供向けの歌。
その歌詞には、ミミズを食べる場面が出てくるのだった。
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A few springs ago I found myself up a tree, talking to a young man about eating worms. Well, not exactly eating worms, but we were talking about a popular kids tune that goes: "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I'm going to go out and eat worms ..."
My buddy was 9 years old and hating life. If eating worms could fix his sadness, I'm sure he would have gladly gobbled up hundreds of them
Life is hard when you're nine and can't do sports, can't make friends, and have a step dad that hates you. The step father is verbally and physically abusive and the mother is neglectful. On top of that, you bite your nails, wet your bed, wear thick glasses and are short. School is a living hell and you hate yourself with a passion. You are convinced that you are worthless as a human being
We were about 10 meters from the ground, and the boy was sharing all the injustices of school and home life with me. "Why does everyone hate me!?" he asked. "I hate myself, I hate life and school and everyone." Each tear he shed had a long way to fall.
My heart was pained when I heard this, but needing some time to compose my thoughts, I started singing "Everybody hates me."
"Do you think it's a good idea to eat worms if people hate you?" I asked. "No," he said, "It's stupid! You just get sick. You don't even die from it." I said, "If people hate you, is it good to do something to make them like you less or to hurt yourself?" He answered: "If everyone hates you already, it doesn't matter if you do something bad. And if you are worthless, who cares if you get sick or die?"
We spent a very long time up in the tree talking. He was really hurting inside. The whole reason that he was up in the tree with me in the first place was that his counselors felt he needed another perspective on life. He needed to stop trying to hurt himself and drive away the people around him
For his next tree climb, he joined a group of disabled kids. He was a little shy and distant at first, but he soon joined in and we all climbed and had fun
Left alone in the top of the trees we had another talk. Life was looking different! Life was more difficult for the other kids, but they were happy and kind and enjoyed themselves.
The boy was smart. He was aware that no one really knew him because he didn't show his real self to anyone. He was also aware that people didn't like him because he hated himself and made things difficult for others. He said his step dad and mom probably hated themselves too.
We also discovered that he had lots to like about himself. Even if he didn't do well at sports he could climb a huge tree with ease. The fact that he kept moving schools but still could keep up with his studies proved he was smart. There would always be a hunger for parental love but we agreed that no matter how hungry he got, eating worms was not the answer.
Shukan ST: March 2, 2007
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