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私に清き一票を!
選挙運動中は選挙カーに乗って自らの名前を金切り声で連呼するだけ、しかし当選後には不思議な名目ばかりが並ぶ高額な歳費を得られるという日本の国会議員。
これはもしかしたら、最高に素晴らしい仕事かもしれないぞ、と筆者は思い始めたりして…。
Vote for me! Vote for me!
Governing a country has always been a tricky business. In places where people get to choose their leaders, a vote for the wrong person can have disastrous consequences for one's own country, or in the case of the United States, the entire world. If you don't believe me, just try looking for a job almost anywhere in the world these days.
Perhaps the fatal flaw in the U.S. political system is that from the day a politician is elected, they start campaigning for the next election. This takes lots of money, and the cash has to come from somewhere. I may be stupid, but I can't see any difference between the practice of buying influence through lobbyists and campaign contributions, and outright bribery and corruption.
I'm not in a position to know if Japanese politicians do business this way, but Japan does have an unusual kink in its political system. It is the problem that aspiring Japanese politicians are almost certain to be crazy as a coot by the time they get into office.
As I type, a woman in the street is howling — make that shrieking — hysterically into a microphone. To my foreign ears she sounds dangerously insane and is disturbing the peace of my neighborhood. Has she lost her mind? If she is not mentally disabled, then why would she scream: "TARO SUZUKI, VOTE FOR TARO SUZUKI," (name changed to protect the guilty), over and over again for hours in a voice that is straight out of a horror movie?
Well, maybe the hysterical woman with the microphone has an excuse. She's just one of Suzuki's minions. But somewhere in front of a train station, or from a moving vehicle, Taro Suzuki himself is hollering the same thing, "I'M TARO SUZUKI, VOTE FOR ME, TARO SUZUKI." He does this all day long. It's abnormal, unnatural and downright weird.
What would you think of a "civilian" who was driving down the street screaming their name at high volume? That person would be labeled as a nut case. So right from the start, every Japanese politician is ready to do things that could be considered, if not outright insane, at least against the norms of society.
But wait, there's more; after becoming a Diet member there is not much hope that screaming mad Mr. Suzuki will remember the little guys who voted for him. You see, he'll receive about a yen 20 million salary, plus a cool yen 12 million in benefits for housing, transportation, etc., in addition to millions of yen in "study fees," and free first class train travel throughout the archipelago.
Wait a minute, maybe these politicians aren't crazy after all. That salary package looks awfully good to me. Time for a career change, I'm going out on the balcony now: "STEVE FORD, VOTE FOR STEVE FORD!!!"
- Vote for 〜
- 〜に投票を
- Governing a country
- 一つの国を治めること
- tricky business
- 厄介な仕事
- disastrous consequences
- 悲惨な結果
- fatal flaw
- 重大な欠陥
- start campaigning
- 選挙運動を始める
- influence
- 影響を及ぼす力
- lobbyists
- ロビイスト
- campaign contributions
- 選挙資金の寄付
- outright bribery and corruption
- 全くの贈収賄と汚職
- kink
- おかしなところ
- aspiring
- 当選を狙っている
- be crazy as a coot
- すっかりおかしくなっている
- get into office
- (当選して)公職に就く
- As I type
- この原稿を打っている今も
- is howling
- 叫んでいる
- make that shrieking
- いや、ギャーギャーわめいている、と言おう
- Has she lost her mind?
- 気が変になってしまったのか?
- name changed to protect the guilty
- 罪のある人を守るため(protect the innocent 「罪のない人を守るため」のもじり)匿名にしてあります
- excuse
- 言いわけ、理由
- minions
- 子分
- moving vehicle
- 選挙カーのこと
- is hollering
- 大声で叫ぶ
- downright weird
- 完全におかしい
- civilian
- 一般市民
- nut case
- 狂ったやつ
- if not 〜
- 〜とまではいかなくても
- norms of society
- 社会規範
- Diet member
- 国会議員
- cool
- 大枚
- benefits
- 給付金
- study fees
- 政務調査費のこと
- archipelago
- 日本列島のこと
- salary package
- 給与全体
- awfully
- ひどく
- career change
- 転職