このページはフレーム対応ブラウザ用に作成されています。下のリンクは非フレーム使用ページですのでそちらをご覧ください。
この記事をプリントする
お互いをよりよく知るために
初対面の人と会うときに、筆者はルールを一つ決めている。それは、先入観を持たず、第一印象でその人物像を決め付けない、ということ。長い時間を掛けて、お互いのことを少しずつ理解し合うことが、よりよい陣玄関系の基礎になると思うからだ。
Knowing me, knowing you
As a little kid, I was never particularly keen on meeting new people. But these days, I'm quite the opposite. I love talking to people at gatherings, finding out what they do, where they're from and what they're like.
I also have a rule: Everyone deserves a second chance. Sometimes when you first meet someone, they might be having a bad day and might come across a bit rude. It's amazing how quickly we judge each other, so I like to give first impressions a little "wiggle room."
I only wish I had done this at high school. A few weeks ago, I had lunch with an old school friend. It turns out that she's now good friends with all the "cool" kids from school. I think the world of my friends but even now, we would never consider ourselves as having been "cool." The cool kids at school swore in class. They smelled of cigarettes, listened to music with explicit lyrics, caused trouble and wore big, baggy jeans. They had style and they had swagger.
I figured that they wouldn't want to talk to an uncool person like myself, so I never talked to them. But it looks like I made this assumption too quickly. Having spent quality grown-up time with these former cool kids, my friend tells me that actually, at school they thought we were the cool ones. They even had a cool ranking. I wasn't in the top three, but I was apparently still on the list. Because they thought we were cool, they were equally intimidated to talk to us. I was — and still am — quite shocked by this revelation. We could all have been really good friends — created an entire school of cool even — yet, we never tried to find out more about each other first. We judged each other based on things we could see on the surface, and things we assumed we knew.
At university, I remember talking to a friend about how generous and helpful one of our classmates was: "I know!" she agreed emphatically and then added, "How can someone so pretty be so nice?" We had been conditioned — whether by the media or our own prejudices — to think that pretty girls also had to be mean. So much for that.
So now, when I meet people for the first time, I find it strange and frustrating when I get asked about things like my age or star sign. With some people, the moment you answer these questions, you can see their assumptions about you working their way across their face. Maybe I fit the stereotype of a Gemini, but I also might not — why the rush to find out?
Getting to know someone is like painting on a blank canvas. But instead of painting a picture using stencils you already have, I think we would all create masterpieces if we took the time to pick up that brush and mix our own colors.
- keen on 〜
- 〜したがる
- deserves
- 〜を与えられるべきだ
- come across 〜
- 〜な印象を与える
- amazing
- 驚くべき
- first impressions
- 第一印象
- wiggle room
- 余地
- turns out
- 〜だと分かる
- think the world of 〜
- 〜が大好きで高く評価している
- swore
- 悪態をついた
- explicit
- エッチでどぎつい
- lyrics
- 歌詞
- baggy
- だぶだぶの
- had style
- あか抜けしていた
- had swagger
- 肩で風を切って歩いていた
- figured
- 〜だと考えた
- made this assumption
- こう決めてかかった
- Having spent quality grown-up time with 〜
- 〜と大人としてじっくり付き合う機会があったので
- in the top three
- 上位3位に入って
- apparently
- どうやら
- (were) intimidated to 〜
- 〜するのを尻込みした
- equally
- 同じく
- revelation
- 意外な新事実
- based on 〜
- 〜に基づいて
- on the surface
- 表面に
- assumed
- 〜だと思い込んだ
- generous
- 寛大な
- helpful
- 協力的な
- emphatically
- 力を込めて
- had been conditioned (to 〜)
- (〜するように)条件づけられていた
- prejudices
- 先入観、偏見
- mean
- 意地悪な
- So much for that
- これについてはこのくらいにしておこう
- frustrating
- いら立たしい
- star sign
- 星座
- see their assumptions about you working their way across their face
- 彼らの思い込みが顔に出るのが見てとれる
- fit
- 〜に当てはまる
- stereotype
- ステレオタイプ、典型
- Gemini
- 双子座
- rush
- 急ぐこと
- blank
- 真っ白な
- stencils
- ステンシル
- masterpieces
- 傑作
- pick up 〜
- 〜を取る