Opinion

Divorce Trends

By GWEN A. ROBINSON

Japan-watchers seem to eagerly leap on the advent of any new craze or trend so they can say: "See, Japanese society is changing." But with all the superficial crazes, like the way teenagers are dyeing their hair and piercing their bodies, and with the darker developments such as ijime, or bullying-related child suicides, there's a danger of confusing superficial trends with fundamental shifts in society's values.

One recent phenomenon that does reveal a fundamental shift in values is the steadily rising rate of divorce in Japan. Particularly striking is the increase in the number of divorces initiated by women.

Many issues are related to this one statistic: the breakdown of the omiai system of arranged marriages; the growing presence of women in the workforce, particularly in middle-management; and the changing balance of male-female relationships ― including Japan's reluctant but growing recognition of sekuhara, or sexual harassment, as a problem.

Definitely, the divorce statistics indicate that many women no longer fear the traditional stigma of leaving an unsatisfactory marriage to start life alone.

I was interested to learn that the successful Thursday-night drama run by TBS television, "Wataru Seken wa Oni Bakari," features a new storyline in which four of the five daughters leave their husbands and contemplate divorce. Even 20 years ago, divorce as a theme for a popular TV show would be virtually unthinkable. At the very least, it would have been portrayed as a terrible event which inevitably led the female character to wrack and ruin.

Also, I've noticed a marked lessening in the widespread bias against people from so-called "broken homes." Many Japanese friends tell me that big companies have habitually turned away potential recruits if their parents were divorced. Undoubtedly that was another factor that kept couples together in unhappy marriages. It was "for the sake of the children," as the popular Western saying goes. These days big companies would not dare to admit practicing such discrimination, though it may still quietly feature in some recruitment policies.

But if Japan is to continue evolving in its attitudes toward marriage, the family, and male-female relationships, there is one change yet to come. Japanese are still not used to the concept of "living together." There's still some prejudice against unmarried couples who cohabit.

In its laws and customs, Japanese society doesn't make it easy for de facto couples. Politicians keep promising to change the Draconian laws for married women who want to keep their maiden names. But I know several Japanese women who, for the time being, have chosen to live with their boyfriends rather than marry them, just so they can keep their own names. They face many social and bureaucratic barriers.

The stigma of what used to be known in Western countries as "living in sin" prompts many young Japanese couples to get married quickly rather than upset their parents and companies. The pressure to "make it official" leads to many marriages between people who don't really know one another that well. And some of those marriages, in turn, end up in the divorce statistics.

Shukan ST: Oct. 25, 1996

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