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国際結婚の秘けつ
国際結婚をしたカップルが家庭内での
「異文化コミュニケーション」を上手にこなすカギは、
やはりお互いを尊重し合う気持ちにあるのだ。
My darling is a foreigner
An illustrated book entitled "My Darling is a Foreigner" has recently hit the bookstores. The author is manga artist Oguri Saori. The "darling" on the cover has deep-set eyes and a big, bushy beard, and otherwise bears a rather striking resemblance to ... yours truly.
It happens, you see, that Ms. Oguri is my significant other half. She decided to use her talents - and our relationship - to explore the theme of mixed couples.
The topic certainly is a timely one. As ethnic diversity within households is on the rise throughout the country, people in Japan are increasingly able to relate to the experiences of mixed couples.
For example, one in about 10 registered marriages in Tokyo is "international," as I noted in this column some months ago. At least two recent parliamentarians have had foreign spouses. And abroad, many Japanese have forged families together with a non-Japanese partner.
It seems that nearly everyone these days has at least a friend or relative whose "darling" is a foreigner.
One part of Saori's book delves into our culinary preferences. I find inari zushi, something of a favorite for Saori, to be a bit too sweet. I also prefer to have oodles of tomatoes when having Italian cuisine. And I have been known to gripe when I come upon yet another Japanese grocery store that has shelves full of vanilla and green-tea ice cream but no chocolate ice cream.
Of course, the point here is not so much our particular differences in taste, but that mixed couples are likely to have such differences perhaps to a larger degree than people who grew up in the same environment.
The two of us also contrast in the way we react to certain forms of entertainment. I tend to get wrapped up in a horror movie to the extent that I will - and do - jump out of my chair at the drop of a pin. If the director of a science-fiction film shows me a person flying to Jupiter and back in three minutes, I tend to believe it is happening - for the duration of the film, of course.
Saori, on the other hand, prefers not to engage in the "suspension of disbelief" quite as much as I do. Something similar happens when we are watching comedy, as well. I'm usually prepared to laugh from the start, and I tend to end up laughing more than she does. You could call me unsophisticated, I guess.
There are certain pitfalls to be avoided for both the person creating this sort of book and for those reading it.
First, neither author nor reader should judge these differing sets of traits and values as "correct" or "incorrect." Rather, the various predilections and quirks should be noted and the differences appreciated (if not celebrated).
Similarly, one must not conclude that the traits of either partner are representative of a given group of people or of a given country. They might be, but then again, they might not be.
At the end of the day, the trick is to maintain one's own individual set of values while respecting and adjusting to that of the other. At least, this is the formula that is working for me.
Shukan ST: Feb. 14, 2003
(C) All rights reserved
- My darling is a foreigner
- 筆者婦人の著書のタイトル(『ダーリンは外国人』小栗左多里著、メディアファクトリー刊)。
- (has)hit the bookstores
- 刊行された
- deep-set
- 深くくぼんだ
- otherwise
- そのほかの点でも
- bears a rather striking resemblance to 〜
- 〜に極めて似ている
- yours truly
- (おどけて)私自身
- It happens(that 〜)
- たまたま〜なのだ
- significant other half
- 大切な連れ合い
- explore
- 探る
- mixed couples
- 異文化に根ざすカップル
- ethnic diversity
- 民族・人種の多様性
- households
- 家庭
- is on the rise
- 増えている
- relate to 〜
- 〜に共感する
- one in about 10 registered marriages
- 正式に結婚している約10組に一組
- parliamentarians
- 国会議員
- spouses
- 配偶者
- have forged families
- 家庭を作り上げている
- delves into 〜
- 〜について掘り下げている
- culinary preferences
- 料理の好み
- oodles of 〜
- たくさんの〜
- cuisine
- 料理
- gripe
- 不平を言う
- yet another
- さらにもう一軒の
- get wrapped up in 〜
- 〜にはまってしまう
- to the extent that 〜
- 〜のくらいまで
- at the drop of a pin
- ほんのかすかな音に
- Jupiter
- 木星
- duration
- 継続している間
- prefers not to engage in 〜
- 〜にひたりたがらない
- suspension of disbelief
- 不信の停止(フィクションを読む際に、虚構の部分を一時的に事実だと受け止めること)
- unsophisticated
- 素朴な
- pitfalls
- 落とし穴
- neither author nor reader should 〜
- 作者も読み手も〜すべきでない
- traits
- 特徴
- predilections
- 好み
- quirks
- くせ
- appreciated
- 尊重される
- if not celebrated
- 称賛とまでは言わないが
- representative
- 代表
- a given group of people
- ある特定の集団
- a given country
- ある特定の国
- At the end of the day
- 結局
- trick
- 秘けつ
- formula
- 原則