Opinion

Entertaining the dead

By John Gathright

This summer our boys have been very interested in ghosts coming to visit the living for Obon. Even though they found the idea a little scary they thought it thrilling too.

"Mom, will any of your dead relatives visit us this summer?" asked my 9-year-old son. "No, honey, they will most likely go to my parents' home instead," said his mother.

"Dad, will any of your dead relatives visit us here in Japan?" he went on to ask. "No, I don't think so. They most likely don't know about Obon," I said.

Feeling a little disappointed at not having ghosts as guests, he then phoned his Japanese grandfather to learn more about Obon and was ecstatic when he got off the phone.

"Grandpa says that Obon is for showing our appreciation to people who passed away and that I could try and invite a special ghost of someone we loved, or knew, to our home," he said. "If they knew the way, they probably would come!"

This was a real twist. Little did I know that inviting a ghost for a visit would become a family project. Who to invite - now that was a real challenge.

Then one day it hit us like a brick : we should invite Hibi-chan. A few years back, the Make a Wish Foundation contacted us to help them fulfill the wish of a 4-year-old girl with terminal brain cancer. The little girl had only a few weeks to live and wanted to meet Totoro from the famous Japanese animated film.

The foundation needed a forest and the help of many volunteers to create a huge Totoro that Hibi-chan could sit on and talk with. Our family, with the help of many others and the direction of the Make a Wish Foundation, dedicated two weeks full-time to preparing our treehouse and forest and creating a talking Totoro. This labor of love resulted in a perfect Totoro, which was so real that Hibi-chan was firmly convinced that she was meeting the real thing.

I was chosen to be the voice for Totoro. Hibi-chan told Totoro about her fear of her disease and asked that her parents not be sad. She told Totoro that she would get better now that she had talked to him and she left full of smiles and faith.

Hibi-chan did actually get better for a little while, but on a rainy summer night, she told her mother and father to smile while she flew with Totoro, closed her eyes, and left this earth. Being part of Hibi-chan's dream has been very special for our family and preparing for her ghost to visit this summer became a wonderful experience.

We went through old pictures. We watched the Totoro video again as a family and talked about the importance of dreams and wishes. We shed tears as we remembered the joy that Hibi-chan showed us and how grateful her parents were. In all honesty she probably visited us this summer. I know that she was in our hearts.

I am not Buddhist, but I appreciate the custom of showing respect and appreciation toward the ghosts of loved ones. One of the joys of a multi-cultural family is the joy and depth of incorporating new and different traditions, beliefs and ideas into our own and unique lifestyle. A new tradition has been born in our family. I already look forward to next year and our Obon special guest ghost.

Shukan ST: Sept. 5, 2003

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