Essay

To do or to have?

By John Gathright

It's 3:00 a.m. The phone rings. I jump out of bed, slide down the fireman's pole and hit the second floor. For a moment, I pause between the toilet door and the phone. I grab the phone. "Three minutes until you're on air," comes the voice. "Please hold." Actually it's my bladder that's got to hold. I've a phone interview and I'm busting to go to the toilet. I hear a voice at the other end of the line:

"We are live from Japan, with a guy who lives in a miso barrel treehouse, designs eco-friendly urban projects, has a successful media career and climbs trees all over the world for fun and work. Please welcome … Mr. Gathright."

My bladder is bursting but I have no choice. I have to do the interview. It goes well for a while, until it takes an unexpected turn:

Interviewer: Tell me, are you a doing person or a having person?"

Me: What's a doing person?

Interviewer: OK, I'll coach you through it. Where and what do you spend your money on? Do you drive fancy cars? Do you like designer clothes?

Me: Not really.

Interviewer: How do you measure success? Fame, fortune, luxury?

Me: Love and respect.

Interviewer: OK! What is your motto in life? Do you have a favorite quote that you live by? "Eat, drink and be merry"? "Time is money"? "Finders keepers"?

Me: Well, yes. "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." Benjamin Disraeli

Interviewer: (silence) OK! Definitely a doing person.

The rest of the interview is great fun and we talk about life, families and values, but the question of having and doing stays with me. Later I continue to ponder.

Isn't it very difficult to do without having? And very difficult to have without doing? You have a good time while doing something. You have a family, but you do things together so you can have a good time. If you have money you can do things. You have to do something to have money. The more I thought about having and doing the more I realized the two are inseparable. So I decided to consult the local Cone Club. The Cone Club is a group of people who debate for fun over a cone (or cup) of ice cream. I put the question to them and after consuming a vast amount of ice cream they came to the conclusion that: Being a having person derives from the degree of satisfaction gained by the ownership of a person, place or thing. Being a doing person derives from the degree of satisfaction gained from an activity that involves a person, place or thing.

So there you have it. In other words, would you rather work hard to have things or work hard to do things? Which would you rather spend your time and money on: doing or having?

Having things is great, of course. But I am a doing person for sure. I love the treehouse, I love my career, but I would have to say I love doing things with my family more. My biggest joy is having a simple family night where we enjoy a treat, a talk and a game. Even if I didn't have a treehouse or I had a different job, I would still be happy just doing things with my family. So I must be a doing person.

So what about you? Are you a doing person or a having person?

Shukan ST: April 14, 2006

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