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中途半端な私のフランス語
にわかには信じがたいことだが、語学の達人である筆者が、長年の勉強にもかかわらずフランス語の会話に苦労しているという。
これまで独学してきたのにいまさら学校へは通えない。
かといって勉強をやめてしまうのは負けを認めることになる。
そこで読者の皆さんにお願い事が一つ…。
Language limbo
I've been piddling around with French on and off for around 20 years but still can't muster up the courage to speak more than a few words. I can sort of stumble and bumble my way through some books, films and radio programs, but if a real, live francophone greets me, my forehead and palms suddenly turn icy-moist, I mumble something about not being able to understand, then, invariably, my eyes shoot straight down to my shoes.
There is nothing unusual about my shoes, of course. Except for the fact that at that very same moment, within the privacy of my mind, I am kicking myself with them. Viciously.
If only I had some experience conversing, I'd have more confidence at times like these. But it is precisely the lack of such confidence that prevents me from gaining the experience I need. Being so close to conversational fluency — at least in my imagination — adds to my misery. That and the idea that it is some kind of sin not to be fluent in French after having spent so much time and energy on it. I wouldn't be surprised if there was a special purgatory.
So, what is to be done? Well, the easiest thing would be to just give up. I could simply pretend that I never tinkered with French in the first place. Who would know the difference?
Ah, but that would mean admitting defeat. I couldn't do that; it's not my style. Taking French lessons is also out. Anyone can learn a language if they take lessons. The trick is to learn it without them. Besides, going to a school now would concede the fact that I have been simply spinning my wheels all these years while trying to learn French by myself.
Of course, I could start dating a French-speaking woman, I suppose. Oops. No, that's out. Now that I'm married, that would mean committing adultery.
So, it seems I've really painted myself into a corner here. My only consolation is the knowledge that tens of thousands of Japanese are in the same boat. That is, they have only enough confidence in their English conversation abilities to feel that they should be able to speak fluently, yet not enough to actually do so.
And so I implore you all: Let us remain here in this language limbo together, offering each other the compassion that can only be provided by true members of the Not Quite Successful Language Learners Club. Don't ... leave ... me ... here ... all ... alone.
- limbo
- 地獄の辺土(天国と地獄の間の中途半端なところ)
- (have)been piddling around with 〜
- 〜とだらだら付き合っている
- on and off
- 断続的に
- muster up the courage to 〜
- 勇気を出して〜する
- sort of
- いわば
- stumble and bumble my way through 〜
- つまずき、よろめきながら〜を理解する
- francophone
- フランス語を話す人
- forehead and palms
- 額と手のひら
- icy-moist
- 冷や汗をかいた
- mumble something
- 何かぼそぼそ言う
- invariably
- 必ず
- eyes shoot straight down to 〜
- 目線は真っ直ぐに〜へと落ちる
- Viciously
- ひどく
- conversing
- 会話をすること
- conversational fluency
- 流ちょうに話せること
- adds to my misery
- 不幸の度合いを深める
- sin
- 罪
- purgatory
- 煉獄
- what is to be done?
- どうすべきか
- tinkered with 〜
- いろいろ試しながら〜を勉強した
- in the first place
- そもそも
- defeat
- 敗北
- out
- ありえない
- trick
- うまいやり方
- concede 〜
- 〜を真実だと認める
- have been simply spinning my wheels
- 単に無駄な時間を過ごしてきた
- Oops.
- おっと
- Now that 〜
- 〜なので
- committing adultery
- 不倫すること
- (have)painted myself into a corner
- 自分の落ち度で困った状態に陥る
- consolation
- 慰め
- tens of thousands of 〜
- 何万もの〜
- in the same boat
- 同じ境遇にある
- implore 〜
- 〜に切実にお願いする
- compassion
- 同情
- Not Quite Successful Language Learners Club
- 言葉の勉強があまりうまくいっていないクラブ