Opinion

Kissing Culture

By JOHN GATHRIGHT

The best thing about being a dad happens after I call out, "Tadaima ... Hi, honey, I'm home!" Four little legs carry two little boys as fast as they can into their Daddy's arms to plant slobbery kisses all over my face. Just a few steps behind is their Mum, who joins the kissing bonanza by adding a peck on my cheek. Knowing that when I come home I will be showered by love and kisses makes my every day worth living.

I grew up in a family where there was a kiss for every occasion and situation that arose. There were butterfly kisses (flapping your eyelashes on someone's cheek) and my favorite kiss: Inuit kisses (where we got to rub noses together). Neighbors and relatives got chicken kisses ― a quick peck on the cheek

If two of us kids argued or fought, we'd have to work through our differences and then give a make-up kiss. Kiss-it-better kisses were magic and always made every scrape or hurt feeling all better. And there were even the hugs and kisses that you write at the bottom of a letter: XOXO.

At first, my wife Hiroko was overwhelmed by all the different uses for kisses. But after four years of marriage, she has adjusted and adopted the "kissing culture" and we are now a "kissing family."

One day, though, kissing flowed outside of our family and into the local supermarket. We had both of the boys in the shopping cart when our neighbor, Mrs. Nakahashi, came over to say hello. She gave our two-and-a-half-year-old, Johnny, a cookie. He beamed from ear to ear, said a big thank you and puckered up to give her a thank-you kiss ― and was crestfallen when Mrs. Nakahashi just turned and walked away.

As we carried on with our shopping, Johnny asked to get out of the cart. As soon as his feet hit the ground, and before we could catch up with him, he made a beeline straight for Mrs. Nakahashi, who didn't see him coming. Johnny hit her with the fullness of his affection, ran under her skirt and gave her leg the overdue thank-you kiss!! The shocked Mrs. Nakahashi let out a yelp of surprise causing the cans of tomatoes to go flying!

I and my wife apologized and explained that Johnny had just wanted to thank her for the cookie. Mrs. Nakahashi said, "Oh, it is OK ... I was just a little surprised. I haven't been kissed by my husband for at least 10 years, and I don't think I've ever been kissed on the thigh!" And then to Johnny she said, "Thank you for adding a little excitement to my shopping, but next time, please warn me first."

It won't be long before Johnny learns that most Japanese families don't have a "kissing culture," and he'll become more reserved and judicious in deciding where and when to plant kisses. But I plan to encourage my family to remain and develop as a kissing family. Kissing is a form of communication that I honestly think I couldn't live without. Oh, and by the way, thanks for reading this article. XOXOXOXOXXOX from John.

Shukan ST: July 25, 1997

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