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春暖
ボストンでは暖かい日が続いていたと思ったら、今度は、天気は良いのに凍りつくような寒さの日が続いています。でももうすぐ雅子さんの大好きな4月です。雅子さんの心の雪解けはどうでしょう。
Spring Thaw
By MASAKO
YAMADA
Just a few weeks ago, I wrote about the strangely warm winter we've had so far. It seems
I've jinxed the weather though, because even after
spring has officially started, we've been having freezing
temperatures March is supposed to go "in like a lion,
out like a lamb," but even at the end of the month, the winds have been roaring like a pride of wild lions.
I went
to the airport last week to pick up a friend who was
visiting me and I saw a bunch of people come off a
plane from Florida in shorts and T-shirts. The Bostonians in the waiting area were dressed in coats, scarves and gloves, and I could've sworn that I heard a titter go through the crowd when they saw those
hapless travelers. One of the waiting women in the
group gave a lesson to her toddler by pointing at them
and saying, "Look at those silly people in shorts!! See?! Can you see another one?!"
I thought this was very funny.
It's been sunny, but cold, these days. I hope that it
will get warmer now that April, my favorite month of the year, is arriving. The famous
American poet, T.S. Eliot, opens "The Wasteland" with the
shocking line, "April is the cruelest month."
This seems strange, since April is the month in which the birds start singing and the
trees start putting out their buds.
Poets usually
write about the beauty and hope that April brings. But Eliot goes on to show that all of the vulnerable
feelings that are easily kept frozen and
sheltered during the cold winter months finally thaw and force themselves out in the
month of April.
I think I understand this. As we were waiting for the T to come to the
airport station, I noticed a radiant young couple
playing around on the platform. I ordinarily would've thought, "Ah, spring is finally
here," but this time, it was different. I realized that I knew the guy. Not only was he a
good friend of mine, he's also rejected me romantically. I suppose I should've
protected his privacy ― his moment ― by quietly turning away, but something moved me. What
had been carefully "forgotten" started to bubble
forth when I actually saw the signs of spring.
I rushed toward them, "accidentally" ran into him, and said, "Hi!!" He replied, "Oh, Masako!"
but there was a hint of exasperation in his face. I
quickly realized that I'd made a mistake and I ran onto the incoming train without looking at him again. They sat
far away from us and we pretended not to notice each
other, even though we were going the same direction. I tried stealing a few glances, but I couldn't look at them square on. I was relieved and disappointed and jealous, when they got
off. They looked so lovely, laughing together.
The feelings that I've always been so good at locking up began to thaw. I had to ask my poor friend over and
over again, "You think I am a nice, smart, beautiful, charming person, right?" I
heard the answer many times, but the kind and flattering words couldn't cover the shock I felt. My heart had been woken up from its long hibernation. It was
acting mighty grumpy, since it had been woken up so abruptly. It was the first time in a long time that I'd felt that kind of hurt.
There is also a saying: "April showers bring May flowers." I want to believe
that there is a silver lining to this cloud.
Tomorrow, another friend is visiting me for spring break. My period of seeing friends on
spring break has continued for a month, and I feel like I've grown so much. Eri is a
schoolmate from my high school. She's younger than I am, we never really knew each other
in high school, and I haven't seen her in four years; but when she called me on the phone
recently, I felt like I could tell her anything. Now, I feel like telling her
everything.
Eri and I went the "minority" track in
high school, choosing to go to college in the States. American college is wonderful, but
there is the undeniable sense that our high school
friends have continued without us. Eri goes to Stanford. I feel that she'll bring with
her the warm vibes of California; I look forward to
seeing her. Maybe the ice will thaw completely now.
Just a few weeks ago, I wrote about the strangely warm winter we've had so far. It seems
I've jinxed the weather though, because even after
spring has officially started, we've been having freezing
temperatures March is supposed to go "in like a lion,
out like a lamb," but even at the end of the month, the winds have been roaring like a pride of wild lions.
I went
to the airport last week to pick up a friend who was
visiting me and I saw a bunch of people come off a
plane from Florida in shorts and T-shirts. The Bostonians in the waiting area were dressed in coats, scarves and gloves, and I could've sworn that I heard a titter go through the crowd when they saw those
hapless travelers. One of the waiting women in the
group gave a lesson to her toddler by pointing at them
and saying, "Look at those silly people in shorts!! See?! Can you see another one?!"
I thought this was very funny.
It's been sunny, but cold, these days. I hope that it
will get warmer now that April, my favorite month of the year, is arriving. The famous
American poet, T.S. Eliot, opens "The Wasteland" with the
shocking line, "April is the cruelest month."
This seems strange, since April is the month in which the birds start singing and the
trees start putting out their buds.
Poets usually
write about the beauty and hope that April brings. But Eliot goes on to show that all of the vulnerable
feelings that are easily kept frozen and
sheltered during the cold winter months finally thaw and force themselves out in the
month of April.
I think I understand this. As we were waiting for the T to come to the
airport station, I noticed a radiant young couple
playing around on the platform. I ordinarily would've thought, "Ah, spring is finally
here," but this time, it was different. I realized that I knew the guy. Not only was he a
good friend of mine, he's also rejected me romantically. I suppose I should've
protected his privacy ― his moment ― by quietly turning away, but something moved me. What
had been carefully "forgotten" started to bubble
forth when I actually saw the signs of spring.
I rushed toward them, "accidentally" ran into him, and said, "Hi!!" He replied, "Oh, Masako!"
but there was a hint of exasperation in his face. I
quickly realized that I'd made a mistake and I ran onto the incoming train without looking at him again. They sat
far away from us and we pretended not to notice each
other, even though we were going the same direction. I tried stealing a few glances, but I couldn't look at them square on. I was relieved and disappointed and jealous, when they got
off. They looked so lovely, laughing together.
The feelings that I've always been so good at locking up began to thaw. I had to ask my poor friend over and
over again, "You think I am a nice, smart, beautiful, charming person, right?" I
heard the answer many times, but the kind and flattering words couldn't cover the shock I felt. My heart had been woken up from its long hibernation. It was
acting mighty grumpy, since it had been woken up so abruptly. It was the first time in a long time that I'd felt that kind of hurt.
There is also a saying: "April showers bring May flowers." I want to believe
that there is a silver lining to this cloud.
Tomorrow, another friend is visiting me for spring break. My period of seeing friends on
spring break has continued for a month, and I feel like I've grown so much. Eri is a
schoolmate from my high school. She's younger than I am, we never really knew each other
in high school, and I haven't seen her in four years; but when she called me on the phone
recently, I felt like I could tell her anything. Now, I feel like telling her
everything.
Eri and I went the "minority" track in
high school, choosing to go to college in the States. American college is wonderful, but
there is the undeniable sense that our high school
friends have continued without us. Eri goes to Stanford. I feel that she'll bring with
her the warm vibes of California; I look forward to
seeing her. Maybe the ice will thaw completely now.
Shukan ST: April 4, 1997
(C) All rights reserved
- thaw
- 雪解け(季節が暖かくなっていくことと気持ちがほどけていくこと両方の意味を持つ)
- (have)jinxed the weather
- 天気についていない
- freezing temperatures
- 凍り付くような気温
- go "in like a lion, out like a lamb"
- 「獅子のごとくあばれ来たり、子羊のごとく過ぎゆく」(初めは寒風が吹くが、後に穏やかになる)
- have been roaring like a pride of lions
- 野生のライオンの群れのようにうなっている
- pick up
- 出迎える
- a bunch of 〜
- たくさんの 〜
- Bostonians
- ボストンの住民
- scarves
- スカーフ
- could've sworn that 〜
- 確かに 〜 だと思った
- heard a titter go through the crowd
- 人混みからクスクス笑いが聞こえた
- hapless
- 哀れな
- gave a lesson to her toddler by pointing at them and saying, 〜
- 彼らを指さし、自分の小さな子供に 〜
と言い聞かせていた・
- T.S. Eliot
- ノーベル文学賞を受賞した米国生まれの英国の詩人、評論家
- "The Wasteland"
- 『荒地』
- with the shocking line
- 衝撃的な一行で
- cruelest
- 最も厳しい
- start putting out their buds
- 芽ぶき始める
- goes on to show that 〜
- 〜 を表現し続けている
- vulnerable feelings
- 傷つきやすい感情
- 〜 that are easily kept frozen and sheltered
- たやすく凍りつき、隠されてしまう 〜
- T
- ボストンの地下鉄・
- radiant
- はつらつとした
- (has)rejected me romantically
- 私をふった
- moment
- 楽しい時
- by quietly turning away
- そっと別の方を向いて
- bubble forth
- ふつふつと沸く
- signs
- 前ぶれ
- "accidentally"
- 「偶然に」
- ran into 〜
- 〜 に出くわした
- there was a hint of exasperation in his
face
- 彼の表情にいらだちが見えた
- incoming train
- 入ってくる電車
- pretended not to notice each
other
- 互いに気付かないふりをした
- tried stealing a
few glances
- 何度か盗み見ようとした
- couldn't look at
them square on
- 正面切って見ることはできなかった
- was
relieved
- 気持ちが楽になった
- feelings that I've
always been so good at locking up
- ずっとうまくしまいこんでいた感情
- began to thaw
- (感情が)よみがえり始めた
- poor
- 気の毒な
- over and over
again
- 何度も
- flattering
- 喜ばせるような
- couldn't cover the shock I
felt
- 感じたショックを埋めあわすことはできなかった
- had been woken up from 〜
- 〜
から目覚めた
- hibernation
- 冬眠
- was acting mighty grumpy
- ひどくむずがっていた
- abruptly
- 突然に
- (had)felt that kind of hurt
- こんなふうに不快に感じた
- saying
- 言い回し
- "April showers bring May flowers"
- 「4月の雨は5月に花を咲かせる」
- there is a silver lining to this cloud
- こういう暗い出来事にも明るい面がある
- went the
"minority" track
- 「少数派」路線を歩んだ
- undeniable
sense
- 紛れもない事実
- warm
vibes
- 温かい雰囲気