Brand-new toilet
By Samantha Loong
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最新式のトイレ
旧正月を迎えた人々は、とかく新しい衣服のことで頭がいっぱいになる。
だが、筆者が思案していたのは、5年間使い続けた携帯をスマートフォンに買い替えようかどうかということ。
しかし、この世界は次々に新商品が発売され、買い時の判断がつきにくい。
あれこれ悩むうちに筆者がたどり着いた結論は…。
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In Cantonese, there's an expression that directly translates as "brand-new toilet." This expression is used to tease someone who loves to immediately try new things so much that they would want to be the first to sit on a brand-new toilet.
Chinese New Year is just around the corner. Like other new years, it's a time for people to become obsessed with new things. During Chinese New Year, it's customary for people to buy and wear new clothes. However, it isn't clothing I find myself looking for this year, but a smartphone. It's difficult to know exactly when to buy a smartphone, because every few months rumors pop up saying a newer, faster and better smart-phone will soon be released.
However, when I compare a new smartphone to the mobile phones of my past, I'm doubtful about how robust and enriching any of the latest models are.
In New Zealand, my first-ever mobile phone was a hand-me-down. It was heavy, incredibly un-sexy and could only display text on a single line — text which would slowly and painfully scroll from right to left. But I grew to love this phone. It never let me down, and best of all, I felt safe walking home late at night knowing that my phone could double as a weapon should I need to use it in self-defense.
During my five years in Japan, while some friends were changing mobile phones every year, I stood by my aqua-blue mobile the whole time. And it stood by me. It was small, light and had a wonderful scroll button. It also survived many a fall on concrete, tile, tatami, rocks and grass.
In about the second year of its use, it was starting to look a bit battered and dated. Friends would see it and point and laugh at how old it was. People who I'd just met were a bit kinder, and said things like, "Oh, I remember those phones."
Public ridicule tempted me to trade in my beloved aqua-blue phone for something flashier, but I could never find anything that matched it in functionality and size.
With this phone, I also made friends and shared heart-warming moments with strangers. At a bar once, I noticed an even more manhandled aqua-blue phone of the same type sitting on a table. When I showed mine to its owner, she screamed with delight and we became friends. Another time, a woman on the train was also using the same aqua-blue mobile. When she saw mine, we exchanged smiles as if to acknowledge a secret — nobody but us knew how wonderful our phones were.
I'm not sure a smartphone could ever match the personalities of my old phones. In an age of excess and waste, and having already spent enough money starting my brand-new life in London, I think I'll postpone my smartphone purchase. After all, what's bad about brand-new toilets is that you usually have to flush a lot of money down them first.
Shukan ST: January 29, 2010
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