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結婚の許可
1月は筆者の結婚記念日の月。筆者は27歳のとき、お付き合いしていた日本人女性との結婚を決意し、2人の結婚を許してもらうために彼女の家族を訪れた。そこで、義理の父親となる人物から意外な質問をされたという。
Permission to marry
January is the month of my wedding anniversary. My wife is Japanese. She and I met in Kobe, and we decided to tie the knot after dating for a year. The biggest challenge we faced was getting permission from her father.
To persuade him that I'd be a good son-in-law, I prepared a 5-minute speech in English about my background and my future plans. My girlfriend helped me to translate this into Japanese. I rehearsed it until I knew it by heart.
The next weekend, we took the long train ride back to her hometown. Her whole family was there. Excitement was in the air. Everyone knew that this was "the big day" when I would pop the question.
When dinner finished, her parents announced: "We have an important talk with Kip. Everyone out!" I steeled myself for what was to come. At least, I had my girlfriend beside me for support.
However, her father pointed to her and said: "You leave, too. This is between Kip and us." Now, there were three of us -- her father, her mother and me. Two against one. I was on my own!
"The best defense is a good offense," I thought. I quickly launched into my Japanese speech. Halfway through my monologue, however, her father interrupted. "I have just one question for you," he said. One question. What could it be? My mind raced with possibilities: "What's your salary?" maybe, or "Do you love my daughter?"
When the question came, I was caught totally off guard. "Do you have your mother's permission to marry?" he asked.
My mother's permission? His question didn't make sense. My father had already passed away. But, I wasn't a child. I was almost 30. I hadn't asked for my mother's permission since I was a teenager! What to answer?
"Actually," I lied, "I wanted to ask you first before contacting my mother." "Well, call your mother and get permission," he ordered. "Then, we can negotiate further."
The next day, I made a long-distance phone call to my mother in California. It was a very strange conversation! "Mom," I said. "I need your permission to marry my girlfriend in Japan." "You're joking, right?" she asked. "No." I said. "I'm serious. I need your consent or I can't get married." The idea of her 27-year-old son asking for permission was so funny that she broke out laughing. "OK!" she said. "You have my permission." I immediately phoned my girlfriend's father to report the good news.
In my culture, once you reach the age of 18, you're an adult and don't need your parents' permission for anything. For my Japanese father-in-law, a man who asks his parents for permission is someone who respects his elders, follows tradition and values human relations. Such a person makes a good son-in-law. Luckily, I passed the test and was finally allowed to marry!
- Permission
- 許可、許し
- wedding anniversary
- 結婚記念日
- tie the knot
- 結婚する
- dating
- 付き合うこと
- faced
- 直面した
- persuade 〜 that 〜〜
- 〜〜だと〜を納得させる
- son-in-law
- 義理の息子
- until I knew it by heart
- 暗記するまで
- hometown
- 生まれ育った町
- 〜 was in the air
- 〜が漂っていた
- pop the question
- 結婚を申し込む
- Everyone out!
- 全員、座を外して!
- steeled myself for 〜
- 〜の覚悟を決めた
- what was to come
- これから起こること
- on my own
- 一人で
- The best defense is a good offense
- うまい攻撃こそ最大の防御だ
- launched into 〜
- 〜を始めた
- Halfway through 〜
- 〜の半分くらい過ぎたところで
- monologue
- モノローグ、独白
- interrupted
- 口を挟んだ
- mind raced with possibilities
- いろんな質問の可能性が頭を駆け巡った
- was caught totally off guard
- 完全に不意打ちを食らった
- didn't make sense
- 筋が通らなかった
- (had) passed away
- 他界していた
- Actually
- 実は
- contacting
- 〜に連絡する
- ordered
- 命じた
- long-distance phone call
- 長距離電話
- "You're joking, right?"
- 「冗談でしょ」
- consent
- 承諾
- broke out laughing
- 急に笑い出した
- immediately
- すぐに
- elders
- 年配者
- values
- 〜を重んじる
- Luckily
- 運よく
- (was) allowed to 〜
- 〜することを許された