ロング・グッドナイト

Vol. 24 : CHAPTER 24

Mr. Vernon: I feel a little like a cheap magician, standing in front of group of children, knowing he's only got one lame trick up his sleeve that's not going to amuse anyone. It's all depressingly simple, nothing like the fiendishly complex plot you're expecting. So, let me start from that day when I was supposed to have died. I turned up here, at "The Long Goodnight," waiting for my dear little Bertha. She'd been very informative. She'd told me everything that you and Charlie had been up to, even that you'd paid her to kill me that day. We were going to pretend that she'd killed me, make it known that the money was still here, and sit back and wait for the worms to come out of the woodwork.

Aspidistra: (sneezes) Sorry.

Mr. Vernon: But it all didn't go quite to plan. As sweet as Bertha was, she was sweeter on Charlie, and that was unacceptable. The little monster decided that she'd double-cross me, that she would actually kill me, and to put the two of them in their place, I had Charlie brought here, and she shot him instead, thinking he was me.

Vanessa: Impossible! How ...

Mr. Vernon: No, don't interrupt, dear, for there's another twist. That story about Bertha being killed by one of Charlie's men is a fib, cooked up by yours truly. She was rather irritatingly killed by someone else. But I oh so lovingly retrieved the head and sent it to you with the story that the money was here. As an invitation I thought it rather good, don't you? So kind of you all to turn up to my modest little soiree.

ミスター・バーノン：しょぼい手品師みたいな気分だな。子供たちの前に立っているが、袖に隠し持っているのは誰もだませるはずのないケチなネタが一つだけ。ご期待に沿うような複雑怪奇な筋書きなどないんだよ。がっくりするほど単純な話だ。私が死んだはずの日から話を始めよう。私はこの宿に来て、かわいいバーサを待った。あの子は先に全てをバラしてくれていた。チャーリーとおまえたちのたくらみや、あの子を金で釣って、あの日、私を殺させようとしていたことまでな。そこで私たちは一芝居打って、バーサが私を殺し、金を隠したと見せかけて、虫けらどもが姿を現わすのを待つことにした。

アスピディストラ：（くしゃみをして）失礼。

父：ところが計画が狂ってね。わがいとしのバーサはチャーリーをいとしく思っていた。けしからん話だ。あの小悪魔め、裏切って私を本当に殺そうとした。2人に身の程を教えてやろうと、私はチャーリーをこの宿に呼び寄せ、バーサは私と間違えてやつを撃った。

バ：あり得ないわ！　そんな…。

父：いやいや、もう一つどんでん返しがある。「チャーリーの手下にバーサが殺された」というのは不肖の私がでっちあげたうそだよ。腹が立つことに、あの子は誰か違う人間に殺されたんだ。だが私は、バーサのかわいらしい頭だけを取り戻し、「金は宿屋にある」という伝言とともにおまえたちに送りつけた。こじゃれた招待状だと思わないか?　私のささやかな社交の夕べにそろって集まってくれて、うれしいよ。