Essay Boys will be boys By John Gathright	フレームで見る  英文をプリントする  脚注をプリントする
男の子とはそういうもの 日本の小学校に通い始めた長男がいじめに遭っている問題について、家族みんなで解決策を話し合ったギャスライト家2月10日号参照)。その後同じような悩みを抱える読者からさまざまな反響が寄せられたこともあって、改めていじめ問題を解決するには何が必要なのかを考えてみました。

A special thanks to all of the ST readers for your e-mails and messages. I was surprised and humbled by your comments, insight and response to my last article about our family's bullying dilemma. A heartrending message from Kawasaki also reminded me that bullying doesn't end in grade schools. I was disheartened to learn that bullying was common among teachers, police and firemen.

A few people thought that bullying is part of human nature and that kids need to be more tough to prepare them for real society. One reader sent a note saying: "Boys will be boys. Bullying when young can help toughen weaker children." I thought I would let a young 14-year-old boy answer this one:

"Mr. Gathright, I am jealous of your sons because you care and want to help them. At my school, teachers say, 'Fix the problem yourself.' My parents say, 'You have to be more tough. It's your problem.' They say I'm too gentle. They don't listen or talk about it. Now, I don't go to school. I'm not giving up on life - just school and family. I think gentle people have a right to live in society. I like English and study and feel safe studying at home." (Editor's note: The English has been corrected.)

I personally would loathe a society without gentle people. What a terrifying concept: a society without gentleness and kindness. But how do we teach our children to be gentle and kind?

A leading expert on bullying, Dr. Sherryll Kraizer, feels that when it comes to bullying, children cannot solve their problems by themselves. We (as parents and teachers) need to help them. Studies have also found that most incidents of bullying take place in second-grade elementary school. But while incidents of bullying subside slightly as children age, the intensity and malice increase.

Bullying and being bullied is a very traumatic and scary situation for all children involved. An article in The New York Times Jan. 13, 2004, by Jane E. Brody paints a very viｖid picture of the hazards of bullying to the bullies, victims and society. She clearly explains how bullies who are not helped become adults who exhibit violent and anti-social behavior. Victims can also lash out at society and become violent. Or they become depressed and introverted.

Her article shows the depth and severity of bullying by looking at the infamous Columbine Massacre, which was a result of young men lashing out at society because of many years of taunting and bullying at school. By analyzing 37 intended and actual school shootings, studies have found that two-thirds of those responsible had been bullied.

Bullies, researchers insist, are not born, they are made. And they should be unmade before the behavior becomes so ingrained that it shapes their personalities and behavior for life. Statistics show that bullies who aren't helped become more and more aggressive and violent. One study has shown that bullies are 16 times more likely to show violent behavior.

Being a victim of bullying can also spiral into depression and increased bullying. It seems that victims of prolonged bullying tend to be shunned by peers. Since bullies thrive on lonely, friendless victims, these victims are at an even greater risk of increased bullying.

There seem to be some simple truths that most experts agree on. Bullies need help to recognize that their behavior is not acceptable and should be made to apologize for their behavior to their victim. It also seems that bullies have a talent for watching the children around them and targeting weak, lonely, developmentally slower children as their potential victims. Also bullies want acceptance by their peers and lack proper ways to communicate and make friends.

After my last article, I received an e-mail from a mother in Kyushu, who shared her pain at being the mother of a bully. "His bullying hurt him, our family and society. "I feel so sorry to all mothers of bullied boys and girls," she wrote. "I wish someone had taken the time to stop him bullying when he was a young school boy."

Shukan ST: March 10, 2006

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