Essay No wooden bowls, please! By John Gathright	フレームで見る  英文をプリントする  脚注をプリントする
木のおわんはいらない 遊びにきているおじいさんとおばあさんを交え、家族で食事にでかけた筆者は、 レストランで悲しい出来事を目撃した。5人家族の母親が、一緒にいるおばあさんを 冷た言葉でなじり、父親と二人の子供も「またか」という平然とそれを見ているのだ…。 この光景に、筆者は「木のおわん」という古い物語を思い出した。

My Japanese parents-in-law are staying with us at the moment. Grandpa is the quiet, gentle, hard-working type. We joke with him that he's the perfect example of energy efficiency: He doesn't eat but he sure works hard. Grandma is like Mary Poppins. She is a whiz at cleaning the house, making meals, stitching hems, reading stories and entertaining the kids. They are a wonderful couple, loved and appreciated by all of us.

One day, we went for a quick bite at a restaurant. A family of five sat at the table next to us — father, mother, two children and their grandmother. At one point the grandmother said something, and I was surprised to hear the mother snap and growl at her in response. From the complacent attitude of the rest of the family, it was obvious that this was not an isolated incident. It was the family's habit to belittle and abuse the grandmother.

It is for this family and for similar families that I would like to share one of my favorite stories with you. It's called "The Wooden Bowl" and it is by an unknown author.

"A frail old man went to live with his son, his daughter-in-law, and his four-year-old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together nightly at the dinner table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating rather difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, the milk often spilled onto the tablecloth. The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess

"something about Grandfather,' said the son. 'I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.'

"So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, the grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner at the dinner table. Since the grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. Sometimes when the family glanced in the grandfather's direction, he had a tear in his eye as he ate alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food. The four-year-old watched it all in silence

"One evening, before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor

"He asked the child sweetly, 'What are you making?'

"Just as sweetly, the boy responded, 'Oh, I'm making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food from when I grow up.'

"The four-year-old smiled and went back to work. The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done. That evening the husband took the grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table

"For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care anylonger when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled

"Children are remarkably perceptive. Their eyes ever observe, their ears ever listen, and their minds ever process the messages they absorb. If they see us patiently provide a happy home atmosphere for family members, they will imitate that attitude for the rest of their lives. The wise parent realizes that building blocks are being laid every day for the child's future."

I can't agree more. Children learn from what they see and the examples of their parents and other adults in society. By teaching them love, respect and compassion for our elderly citizens we are sowing the seeds for our future as well. Personally, I would rather live in a society that loves, respects and values the elderly than one that feeds them from wooden bowls.

Shukan ST: July 14, 2006

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