ジャッキーの これ、どう思う？ While we're on the topic ...

A partial screenshot of Jackie's profile JACKIE HOFFART PHOTOS

I swore I would never join an online dating site. And then I joined one.

I'm still not sure I believe in the basic premise — that sustainable partnerships can be forged when people with similar interests or viewpoints are introduced to each other. It seems so mechanical and so unromantic to me. But I think the more honest reason I have resisted for so long is that I was afraid of rejection.

The easiest way to stay safe from rejection is, of course, to never risk anything. But if you run away from your fears they will simply follow you. So I thought it was a good opportunity to try to overcome that.

When I signed up and started filling out my online profile, it felt like I was filling out an application for a job, like I was writing a cover letter. I guess the experiences are rather similar when you think about it — you are trying to sell yourself in a way.

The difference is that for a job application, you typically have a clear sense of what is required and can tailor your cover letter to show how you meet or exceed those requirements. But in the case of an online dating profile, the "job" you are applying for is a "date" or eventual "partner," and everyone is looking for something slightly different in such a person, so you can't really tailor it. Also, the fact that everyone I've ever dated has been someone I probably would never have selected based on their jobs, backgrounds or taste in music, made this business of filling out a profile quite a challenge.

I decided to approach it in steps. First, I spent an entire evening just deciding on a username. It was difficult because I didn't want something too funny or too serious or too obvious. I wanted something that was clever but not too clever, something that wasn't just a word with some numbers attached, and something that perhaps hinted at my name or something important to me, but didn't have that much meaning. It's a tall order.

After I finally arrived upon a name I liked, I let my profile sit dormant for a full week, satisfied with my first step.

The next step was deciding what pictures to use. This was not so hard. I'm used to deciding which pictures of myself to share with the world because of this column and various other social networking sites.

Finally it was time for the "words" part — answering their questions about who I am, what I'm doing with my life, what my interests are and what I'm looking for. I realized there are some details about myself that I consider essential for people to know and others that I prefer to keep obscure. The fact that I'm a recent convert to filmmaking, and that I love and enjoy it, is important to me. Likewise, the fact that I've lived in four countries is also a huge part of my identity. But I'm shy about saying which movies or books I like, or what music I listen to.

I suppose it's because I prefer to be judged on my actions rather than my tastes, but maybe this is just my fear of rejection popping up — like I'm afraid I'll say the wrong thing and misrepresent myself.

I find inspiration in other people's profiles. Looking at them, you get an interesting sense of what a person thinks is important or relevant, particularly in response to the really open-ended questions like: Describe yourself.

I think I will continue to tweak my profile as I get a sense of who is out there or how I interact with them. The entire process seems a bit like an interesting side project so far, rather than a serious attempt to find a date or a girlfriend.

That's the bottom line: I see online dating as a project in which I develop new personal skills — like not getting too attached to new people, learning not to project my expectations onto them, and developing more confidence in the face of disappointment and rejection. I'm expecting the dating part to be rather fruitless, but I'm hoping that the overall experience will make me more resilient when it comes to the hits and misses of single life. Although I don't really expect to enjoy the online dating experience, I hope that it helps me to become a stronger, more independent person, which I hope will in turn, strengthen future partnerships that spring up more organically in my life.

Next time: my topic is ... nationalism.