Singapore Sling Singapore's singletons are not simpletons By Rennie Loh	フレームで見る  英文をプリントする  脚注をプリントする
シンガポールの独身女性 シンガポールで出生率低下は深刻な問題です。政府は、独身の男女を対象にしたパーティーやスポーツ大会などを主催する結婚奨励事業を行なうなど、さまざまな政策をとっていますが、女性の晩婚化・非婚化は進む一方。政府の心配をよそに、独身女性たちの言い分はこうです——。

I have a penchant for working late and whenever I do so, my impish colleagues will yell across the tables: "Aiyoh, Rennie, how are you going to find boyfriend like that?" I throw my hands up in the air and let out a sigh of resignation.

I am one of the many single women who believe that if it happens, it happens. I don't have a five-year plan for pinning down a partner, though my radar is often put on high alert, scanning potential partners as I work and play.

The increasing number of singles in Singapore is a worrying statistic. Earlier last month, singles in this city-state welcomed the government's announcement of a liberalized housing policy, which now offer greater housing choices for singles aged 35 or above.

Although priorities are still given to married couples, and singles are not permitted to purchase new flats, under the relaxed Single Singapore Citizen Housing Scheme, singles can now buy resale three-room or smaller flats in any location. Previously their choices were limited to flats located outside urban estates.

So, what are the imperative factors stopping singles from marriage? A survey conducted by the Social Development Unit (SDU), a government agency tasked to create opportunities for graduate singles to meet and pair off, revealed that the top three priorities of most Singaporean singles (graduate and non-graduate alike) are: pursuing career success, attaining financial security and buying their own flats. It is hard not to feel sad at the survey's findings. Singles are portrayed as selfish, wealth-and-success-driven zealots who place marriage fourth as a priority, after materialistic pursuits.

However, it is a grossly simplistic picture, especially to most pro-marriage singles in Singapore. Where affairs of the heart are concerned, the priorities are often not so pat and neat. Love in real-life situations is often plagued by many considerations and heartaches.

My friend Jean, a single and career-minded lady at 27, plays her cards well in the field of love. Her singlehood can be attributed to her high expectations in a man.

"The men whom I had dated were exceptionally brilliant, ambitious or well-placed socially," bragged Jean whenever she was asked on her love history. She deems herself to be the city's most accomplished serial dater, engaging in up to 12 "relationships" a year. But after two days or two months, the inevitable happens. Something goes wrong, and she says to the men, "You are dumped!"

When I asked Jean if those priorities as outlined in the SDU survey are her reasons for putting off marriage, she protested vehemently, "No, I do not identify with them. I am single because I'd rather stay single than to get hitched by a `Mr. Not-So-Right' or `Mr. Maybe,' and end up as another divorce statistic. I would rather date more to discover the right one."

Jean's sentiments echo those of a growing number of successful but single graduate women in Singapore. It is difficult for them to settle for mediocrity in their personal lives when the world of today demands excellence in every field.

The societal shifts in contemporary Singapore have also made marriage less an economic requirement and more an elective opportunity. As most men and women enjoy a satisfactory level of job opportunity and earning power, the institution of marriage can be entered based on pure love, and not be tainted by money or convenience.

As the saying goes, "Time waits for no man." My suggestion is for pro-marriage single women to tie the knot before the death knell sounds on their biological clock, especially if they intend to start a family. To be rather cold and calculating, being married can also mean cost-savings and time-efficiency.

My best friend Margie has been in a relationship with the same man for eight years and the natural culmination of their courtship is marriage. "We just thought it is more economical to stay together, like he can stop sending me home every night. He lives in the west and I live in the east, so it can be quite taxing for him and the petrol. Besides, at 30, we are both eager to start a family."

As for me, I am enjoying my independence and freedom, but I still hope I will get to tie the knot one day. Regardless of being single or married, I feel that one should aspire to live an abundant and fulfilling life, and to find contentment in either state.

Shukan ST: Oct. 5, 2000

(C) All rights reserved