Inside U.K. The dating game By Richard Payne	フレームで見る  英文をプリントする  脚注をプリントする
デートができないイギリス人男性 先ごろ、カナダ人の女性ジャーナリストが「イギリス人男性は男女交際について何も分かっていない」と非難。続いて女優グウィネス・パルトロウが「イギリス人にとってデートに誘うことは一大事」と発言しました。これではイギリス人男性の面目は丸つぶれ。筆者もその一人として黙っていられません。

It seems that when it comes to dating, we Brits just don't have a clue - well, us British men anyway. First of all we get criticized by Canadian journalist, Leah McLaren, who complained in the English press that British men are hopeless when it comes to dating.

She wrote: "After going out with roughly a dozen single men in London, I have come to the conclusion that the modern English male knows little to nothing about courtship, and what he does know frightens him." In an article she wrote in The Spectator magazine she goes on to describe "the glaring sexual insecurity of most English males" and says "In my experience, many of these men live in abject fear of being left alone with an unknown woman - the very definition of a date! - and they will go to great lengths to avoid it."

As if this wasn't enough of a dent in the poor old English male's pride, further attack has come from no lesser quarter than the beautiful Hollywood actress Gwyneth Paltrow, herself the object of many an English male's fantasy. Miss Paltrow, who says she loves spending time in London, complained to the magazine Now that British men are useless when it comes to the dating game. She said: "British people don't seem to ask each other out on dates. If someone asks you out, they're really going out on a limb, whereas in America it happens all the time."

This image of the British male as someone who fears spending time alone with a woman and who fears commitment when it comes to relationships has been highlighted by the recent film "About A Boy," starring Hugh Grant. The central character, Will, who's in his 30s but is struggling to grow up and make the transition into adulthood, is someone many British men can relate to and someone whom many British women recognize.

So what can I say in defense of the embattled British male? Yes, it's true we have a reputation for being poor lovers - an undeserved one in my view! Yes, it's true we like spending time hanging out with our mates, going to the pub or to a football match.

It's also true that after I'd first met my future wife at a party, it was six months before I actually got round to asking her out on a "proper date" - something she takes every opportunity to remind me of ! But I am pleased to say that I am now happily married, as are many of my friends.

More and more people, though, are leaving it until later in life before getting "hitched." Most people I know seem to wait until they are into their 30s before they settle down and get married.

Recent research by the bank Abbey National found that the traditional family unit is being replaced by a society of single people, the "Bridget Jones generation." Last year, for the first time in the United Kingdom, people living on their own outnumbered traditional family households.

There is help at hand, though, for all those British males who want but can't get a date. A growing number of television programs are dedicated to giving advice on finding the perfect partner. In "Would Like to Meet" on the BBC, a team of relationship and communication experts and stylists give advice to single people on such things as their clothes and appearance, their body language and how to interact with someone from the opposite sex.

The United Kingdom's longest running dating program, "Blind Date," is set to return to our TV screens for an 18th series. It has consistently remained one of Britain's most popular TV shows. In each program a single man chooses a date from one of three women who are hidden behind a screen. He asks each of them three questions but doesn't actually get to see them until he has made his choice based on their answers to his questions. In the same program one woman also gets to choose a date from three men.

The couples then go away on holiday and report back the following week on how they got on. So far three weddings have resulted from the program.

So, will us British men be forced to buck up our ideas and offer a woman we're interested in something a little more sophisticated than a pint of beer down at the local pub? It seems so, but don't expect it to be an overnight transformation!

Shukan ST: Oct. 11, 2002

(C) All rights reserved