ジャッキーの これ、どう思う？ While we're on the topic ...

Jackie's friends' dog named Henry. Henry is a rescue dog and possibly a "pre-child" tester. JACKIE HOFFART PHOTO

I never had any pets growing up because my dad and my sister were allergic to all living things. Well, all living things with fur or feathers, which pretty much rules out most pets. I do remember a brief phase where we had some fish, but half of them ate the other half, and then they just died one after another in quick succession. I remember feeling sad when my dad would flush the dead ones down the toilet — we called it a "burial at sea" — but the whole fish episode probably only lasted about six months and so it wasn't that emotionally scarring.

As an adult, I've found it to be a bit of a social disadvantage being a person who didn't grow up with pets, because most people where I'm from had a cat or a dog or a turtle or whatever. When I meet someone who also didn't grow up with animals, I feel connected to them in a strange way — like we share a common, secret understanding about how weird it is that people have such a strong rapport with these stinky, demanding animals.

What I think is really interesting about pets, especially dogs, is that they seem to enter into people's lives in three distinct phases. The first is during childhood. Parents ostensibly want to teach their children about responsibility and kindness. The second is during what I will call the "pre-children" phase of life, where a couple (consciously or unconsciously) test out the strength of their relationship and readiness to have children by getting a dog.

The third phase in people's lives where dogs seem to pop up is during the "empty nest" phase. My aunt and uncle bought a dog as soon as their youngest daughter got married and moved away. I think they missed the feeling of taking care of someone. Plus, it keeps them walking every day, so maybe it was also a health choice.

I want to talk more about the second phase though, this pre-children type of "dogsperimentation." I can't decide whether I think it's a really smart or a really creepy idea. Dogs seem to shower love and attention on their owners but are also incredibly needy (and often expensive), which means they really are a lot like babies or toddlers. The stress of having to constantly consider who is watching the dog, if the dog has been walked, if the dog has been fed, if the dog is healthy — these all seem like reasonable exercises in the serious question of "Are we ready for kids?"

But what happens to the dog if the stress of dog ownership is too much of a strain for the relationship? Usually one person keeps it but sometimes the dog gets abandoned. Now don't get me wrong, just because I think pets are smelly and demanding doesn't mean I don't think they deserve to be treated fairly and humanely. Many dogs get abandoned and I think it's the result of people underestimating the financial and logistical strain that dog ownership puts on their lives.

A lot of my friends have "rescue dogs," which are dogs that were abandoned, but picked up by agencies and passed on to people who aren't so picky about breed or age. These agencies are doing incredible work, but they are not the ultimate solution to the problem of abandoned dogs.

I think making a fetish of dogs is part of the problem. As it has become fashionable to have a dog, especially a miniature dog, I worry that it will soon become unfashionable, which means dogs will get abandoned when they are no longer a popular accessory.

If we accept that humans "use" dogs to fulfill certain emotional needs, then I don't think we should be so surprised that this "use" very easily turns to "abuse."

I don't want to appear to be on a moral high ground here as a non-pet owner. I think that people who have rescue dogs are doing the world (and those dogs) a huge favor, but in general, I do think that there's a moral ambiguity to pet ownership that we should all reckon with before we rush out to fill our emotional voids with a little four-legged creature that will never question us. Perhaps it would be better if our potential pets did question us about why we want them so much.

My next topic is ... networking